2006
10.30

An interesting development in the saga of the loquacious fan who “inadvertently” called Dikembe Mutombo a “monkey” during last week’s Rockets-Magic game. Mr. Hooman Hamzehloui has written a formal apology to Mutombo and will not attend another Magic game until Mutombo gives him the Dikembe seal of approval. And as a gesture of good faith, Mr. Hamzehloui will also donate 5,000 dollars to a charity of Dikembe’s choice.

Here is what I find interesting: I am going to venture a guess that Mr. Hamzehloui is not of American decent. Would an American fan have apologized in such a way? I don’t think so. And I don’t know what to make of Mr. Hamzehloui’s comment that he didn’t know “monkey” was an insult. Not sure I believe that. My three cents on what I think happened: Mr. Hamzehloui works in the people business, selling homes in Orlando’s premier housing area ; any hostility with a public figure like Dikembe Mutombo would not only have been embarrassing but hurt his business, especially when Shaq and Tiger Woods both live in that part of Orlando. So Mr. Hamzehoui realizes he made a mistake, owns up to it, and gets mention on the World Wide Leader and other media outlets. That’s smart marketing. No American fan would have done that. Joe Six-Pack, Mr. Hard-Workin’ Blue-Collar Average American Fan, would have told Dikembe it’s a fan’s right to heckle and if he didn’t like it, well, he could go back to Africa. And that’s the difference between us and the rest of the world, folks. Here in America we say “Happy New Year”.

- Jordi

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2006
10.28

As a die-hard baseball fan, I have always tried to stay true to two traditions: the first, read a baseball book as the season opens (my personal favorite being “Remembrance of Swings Past” by Ron Luciano) and second, read the first paragraph of A. Bartlett Giamatti’s “The Green Fields of the Mind” at the season’s end. This season, as my beloved Mets were eliminated from the playoffs, I looked up Giamatti’s essay and read it in it’s entirety. Although the players have long since past from the game, the feeling remains, and few writers, if any, have expressed the passion of a baseball fan with more clarity.

Here is “The Green Fields of the Mind” in its entirety (acquired from http://mason.gmu.edu/~rmatz/giamatti.html):
—————————————————

“The Green Fields of the Mind “

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped, and summer was gone.

Somehow, the summer seemed to slip by faster this time. Maybe it wasn’t this summer, but all the summers that, in this my fortieth summer, slipped by so fast. There comes a time when every summer will have something of autumn about it. Whatever the reason, it seemed to me that I was investing more and more in baseball, making the game do more of the work that keeps time fat and slow and lazy. I was counting on the game’s deep patterns, three strikes, three outs, three times three innings, and its deepest impulse, to go out and back, to leave and to return home, to set the order of the day and to organize the daylight. I wrote a few things this last summer, this summer that did not last, nothing grand but some things, and yet that work was just camouflage. The real activity was done with the radio–not the all-seeing, all-falsifying television–and was the playing of the game in the only place it will last, the enclosed green field of the mind. There, in that warm, bright place, what the old poet called Mutability does not so quickly come.

But out here, on Sunday, October 2, where it rains all day, Dame Mutability never loses. She was in the crowd at Fenway yesterday, a gray day full of bluster and contradiction, when the Red Sox came up in the last of the ninth trailing Baltimore 8-5, while the Yankees, rain-delayed against Detroit, only needing to win one or have Boston lose one to win it all, sat in New York washing down cold cuts with beer and watching the Boston game. Boston had won two, the Yankees had lost two, and suddenly it seemed as if the whole season might go to the last day, or beyond, except here was Boston losing 8-5, while New York sat in its family room and put its feet up. Lynn, both ankles hurting now as they had in July, hits a single down the right-field line. The crowd stirs. It is on its feet. Hobson, third baseman, former Bear Bryant quarterback, strong, quiet, over 100 RBIs, goes for three breaking balls and is out. The goddess smiles and encourages her agent, a canny journeyman named Nelson Briles.

Now comes a pinch hitter, Bernie Carbo, onetime Rookie of the Year, erratic, quick, a shade too handsome, so laid-back he is always, in his soul, stretched out in the tall grass, one arm under his head, watching the clouds and laughing; now he looks over some low stuff unworthy of him and then, uncoiling, sends one out, straight on a rising line, over the center-field wall, no cheap Fenway shot, but all of it, the physics as elegant as the arc the ball describes.

New England is on its feet, roaring. The summer will not pass. Roaring, they recall the evening, late and cold, in 1975, the sixth game of the World Series, perhaps the greatest baseball game played in the last fifty years, when Carbo, loose and easy, had uncoiled to tie the game that Fisk would win. It is 8-7, one out, and school will never start, rain will never come, sun will warm the back of your neck forever. Now Bailey, picked up from the National League recently, big arms, heavy gut, experienced, new to the league and the club; he fouls off two and then, checking, tentative, a big man off balance, he pops a soft liner to the first baseman. It is suddenly darker and later, and the announcer doing the game coast to coast, a New Yorker who works for a New York television station, sounds relieved. His little world, well-lit, hot-combed, split-second-timed, had no capacity to absorb this much gritty, grainy, contrary reality.

Cox swings a bat, stretches his long arms, bends his back, the rookie from Pawtucket who broke in two weeks earlier with a record six straight hits, the kid drafted ahead of Fred Lynn, rangy, smooth, cool. The count runs two and two, Briles is cagey, nothing too good, and Cox swings, the ball beginning toward the mound and then, in a jaunty, wayward dance, skipping past Briles, feinting to the right, skimming the last of the grass, finding the dirt, moving now like some small, purposeful marine creature negotiating the green deep, easily avoiding the jagged rock of second base, traveling steady and straight now out into the dark, silent recesses of center field.

The aisles are jammed, the place is on its feet, the wrappers, the programs, the Coke cups and peanut shells, the doctrines of an afternoon; the anxieties, the things that have to be done tomorrow, the regrets about yesterday, the accumulation of a summer: all forgotten, while hope, the anchor, bites and takes hold where a moment before it seemed we would be swept out with the tide. Rice is up. Rice whom Aaron had said was the only one he’d seen with the ability to break his records. Rice the best clutch hitter on the club, with the best slugging percentage in the league. Rice, so quick and strong he once checked his swing halfway through and snapped the bat in two. Rice the Hammer of God sent to scourge the Yankees, the sound was overwhelming, fathers pounded their sons on the back, cars pulled off the road, households froze, New England exulted in its blessedness, and roared its thanks for all good things, for Rice and for a summer stretching halfway through October. Briles threw, Rice swung, and it was over. One pitch, a fly to center, and it stopped. Summer died in New England and like rain sliding off a roof, the crowd slipped out of Fenway, quickly, with only a steady murmur of concern for the drive ahead remaining of the roar. Mutability had turned the seasons and translated hope to memory once again. And, once again, she had used baseball, our best invention to stay change, to bring change on.

That is why it breaks my heart, that game–not because in New York they could win because Boston lost; in that, there is a rough justice, and a reminder to the Yankees of how slight and fragile are the circumstances that exalt one group of human beings over another. It breaks my heart because it was meant to, because it was meant to foster in me again the illusion that there was something abiding, some pattern and some impulse that could come together to make a reality that would resist the corrosion; and because, after it had fostered again that most hungered-for illusion, the game was meant to stop, and betray precisely what it promised.

Of course, there are those who learn after the first few times. They grow out of sports. And there are others who were born with the wisdom to know that nothing lasts. These are the truly tough among us, the ones who can live without illusion, or without even the hope of illusion. I am not that grown-up or up-to-date. I am a simpler creature, tied to more primitive patterns and cycles. I need to think something lasts forever, and it might as well be that state of being that is a game; it might as well be that, in a green field, in the sun.
——————————————————–

And now I retire my passion for the game and for the Mets until that glorious day when pitchers and catchers report to spring training and championship hopes spring eternal once more.

- Jordi

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2006
10.27


A long time ago at a university far, far away, I was a 22-year old freshman residing in glorious Salley Hall at Florida State University. Having just come back from a military-sponsored visit to beautiful war-torn Bosnia-Herzegovina and not knowing anyone in college, I figured staying in the dorms wouldn’t be such a bad way to spend my first year. That was mistake number one. Life in Salley Hall was so bad, I changed rooms during the winter break and still had one of my new roommates throw a chair at me and threaten to kill me. To this day I haven’t figured out whether it was because of something I did, or because his favorite TV show got cancelled. But thats a story for another day.

I bring up Salley Hall, however, not to discuss its fine living conditions or its esteemed dining facilities (where two-day old personal pan pizzas were a delicious five-finger discount treat), but to talk for a moment about dorm elevators. Yes, dorm elevators. Seems they have been in the news quite a bit lately, so I figured its time to donate my three cents.
Apparently, college dorm elevators are the same everywhere. These aren’t exactly the highest mode of internal housing transportation. There are no bell-hops to push the buttons, no velvet-lined rails to lean on or hold on to, and not even any cheesy muzak to pass the time as you travel from the sixth floor to the party on the second. The Salley Hall elevators, for example, were stuck quite often, frequently smelt of a putrid something, and, on weekends, had inebriated passengers mumbling or drooling on themselves in a corner (special occasions even saw this young future leader of America taped up or wrapped in a sleeping bag). Oddly, for all their dismal glory, I can’t shake the notion that had one of his fellow students committed possibly the most heinous of dorm sins and puked in the elevator none of the 20-some people would have tried to squeeze in and a young Ohio State student would still be alive today.

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2006
10.25

A few thoughts on Major League Baseball’s continuing obsession to have someone sing “God Bless America” during the 7th Inning stretch of every World Series game.
(If you think I am a communist or a terrorist or something for writing this just admire Jessica Simpson trying to get freaky with the microphone and move on please … mmmm Jessica Simpson.)

- Isn’t about time Major League Baseball, Fox, and the record companies stopped pimping a patriotic song so they can push a performer on us? There is no meaning behind the performance like there might have been in 2001 or 2002 – just some clown (sorry Billy Ray Cyrus) singing and getting 30 to 50,000 people to applaud. Meanwhile the people watching on TV are told that not only was this esteemed performer the 67th runner-up in last year’s American Idol, but they have recently released an album of Barry Manilow covers. Lucky us.

- What if the apocolpyse happens and the Cubs make the World Series? Would Cub fans cede their tradition of singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”? What would Harry Caray think? May I suggest Cub fans, after getting over the shock of their team actually being in the World Series, sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and attempt to drown out the Fox-tested MLB-approved singer du jour? Actually, this wouldn’t be a bad idea for the Cardinals and Tigers fans to start doing this year.

- Conspiracy theory of the day: Even though Major League Baseball and the rest of the known universe seemed surprised the Cardinals beat the Mets to get to the World Series, do you think Fox or Major League Baseball is a little relieved the Carlos Delgado controversy won’t be mentioned? Delgado, lest anyone forget, admitted he was opposed to standing during “God Bless America” because he was against the Iraq War. There is no way Fox could have let some liberal pinko baseball player have a political stance like that during their World Series. Fox News commentators Bill O’Reilly or Sean Hannity would have had to set Delgado straight.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for Mom, apple pie, fireworks on the 4th of July, and singing “The Star Spangled Banner” before a ballgame. Just don’t put me asleep in the middle of a crucial World Series game with another 20 minute operatic performance by Ronan Tynan. So please, cease with the “God Bless America”. If not for me, do it for the kids.

- Jordi

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2006
10.18


Many moons ago, in the dawn of the Internet, there was a web site called The AfroSquad. The AfroSquad was a group of funky fresh individuals who warned us about “The Man” – that all-powerful, all-knowing personification of authority. According to CrazyMan of The AfroSquad,

“The Man” is an intangible bugaboo that masterminds the hardships and tragedies of that thing we call life. Being technologically superior, he can morph into anything he wants- your boss, the local authorities, the president, your parents, a lawyer, the guy that signs your inadequate paycheck, etc. You can use that last sentence as a mad-lib for added effect.
When you work 13 hours, come home at 8:00PM to realize that you locked your key in the apartment- blame it on “The Man”- because he made you do it. When it takes another 2.5 hours to get some scab to open your apartment door for you- blame it on “The Man”- it is all his fault. When the scab requires 20 bucks to open your apartment door, beat the crap out of the scab, because he is “The Man”. But defiling the scab/”Man” apparition will be to no avail because, by the time your finished teaching the scab ‘the true meaning of sorrow’, “The Man” will be somewhere else already- probably stealing your loved one’s monogamy.
But don’t be fooled, “The Man” can be in multiple places at once just as easily as you eat a Twinkie in just four bites. He can simultaneously be controlling the red stoplight you run, in his secret hideout faxing your brain the endorphins that result in deviance, AND in the cop car that catches you do it.

Just about the time things started going global and the whole world went online, The Man pulled the plug on the AfroSquad. For years, there was no AfroSquad on the Internet. Only recently has there been a resurgence of AfroSquad videos on YouTube and ifilm.com.

With the AfroSquad at bay, and their recent videos looking more like SNL skits than public service announcements, The Man has continued his shenanigans. Sadly, in no area is The Man’s presence more evident than in the wide world of sports.

As my own PSA, I am beginning a list of things The Man does or tries to get away with in the world of sports. It’s a short list, but hopefully we can raise awareness in an attempt to vex or befuddle The Man. If I am missing something utterly significant, leave a comment or e-mail me at theserioustip@yahoo.com. Gracias.

- Jordi
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-The Man talks trash in the OB and gets away with it. (By the way, Lamar Thomas hates The Man.)
-The Man likes those few days around the MLB All-Star game when no sports are on.
-The Man likes night baseball, Astroturf, and the DH.
-The Man wants all celebrities in New York to become Mets and Yankees fans at the same time.
-The Man thinks all games the Yankees aren’t favored in should be rained out.
-The Man thinks it’s “shocking” that anyone could win the World Series besides the Yankees.
-The Man calls Harlem Globetrotter wins “shocking”.
-The Man still thinks the Braves have a chance.
-The Man likes David Wright, and that scares Mets fans.
-The Man loves Derek Jeter.
-The Man holds career minor leaguers down.
-The Man likes the idea that the winning league in the MLB All-Star game gets home field advantage in the World Series.
-The Man let the dogs out.
-The Man wants a NASCAR channel to replace the NFL Network.
-The Man actually only disliked Rod “He Hate Me” Smart.
-The Man wants to make a 24-hour celebrity poker channel.
-The Man wants to phase out the NBA in favor of the “We put the FUN in more-FUNdamental” WNBA.
-The Man wants the WNBA finals to be the main highlight on SportsCenter.
-The Man hates Russ Granik.
-The Man wants Allen Iverson to practice.
-The Man runs the BCS.
-The Man raises ticket prices.
-The Man wants to take the Cubs and White Sox off WGN.
-The Man wants Mel Kiper off the air.
-The Man hated the Negro Leagues for all the wrong reasons.
-The Man wants all stadiums everywhere to be named after obscure companies. Even little league fields.
-The Man owns a Yankee and Red Sox hat and wears the one with the better record.
-The Man wanted Canada to win the World Baseball Classic, eh?
-The Man hates college basketball and their “Cinderella” teams.
-The Man picks Duke to win every night.
-The Man cheers for rain on opening day.
-Namath is an anagram for the Tha Man.
-And The Man absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt HATES blogs. Especially sports blogs.

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2006
10.16

Battle of the Brawls

VS

Like a great boxing match, the recent brawl, tussle, skirmish, or small urban conflict between the University of Miami and Florida International University sparked much of the same morbid curiosity as other great sports fights. Sports bars across America echoed with cries of “Watch this! Oh, here comes the helmet! Ow! Watch the bodyslam!” But how does Saturday Night’s throw-down in the Orange Bowl match up with one of the most bodacious of bruhahas – the November 2004 Pacers/Pistons/fans melee? Of course, the pundits will ponder, but I’ll let the tale of the tape decide:

Provocation:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: a push, a shove, a flying cup
UM/FIU: trash-talking and a well-placed celebratory bow

Advantage: Pacers/Pistons/fans – I think it was Sun Tzu who said well-aimed artillery should precede the battle. And in the form of a flying Diet Coke, it sparked a war and the legend of Ron Artest.

Initial conflict:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: Artest striding gallantly over seats Tru Warier style.
UM/FIU: A few linemen bouncing their stomachs off each other until one fell down. Then they commenced to kick him in the head. Albert Haynesworth style.

Advantage: UM/FIU – Artest should know nothing good comes from hitting a man in glasses, it’s bad juju. Especially if it was the wrong guy.

Team Participation:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: Right behind Artest was Stephen Jackson, Jermaine O’Neal, David Harrison, and the rest of the Pacers team.
UM/FIU: 100% Participation here. Everyone was ready for combat.

Advantage: UM/FIU – Despite O’Neal’s flying dragonfist, Miami-Florida International wins this round by sheer numbers. More players, more area covered, more smaller fights, more punches thrown. By the end I wouldn’t have been surprised if Miami and Florida International cheerleaders were pulling each others’ hair. Where’s the YouTube on that?

Best use of foreign object:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: Sticks and stones may break my bones but thrown cups and dumped popcorn only make me need a shower. Although that flying chair does get some points.
UM/ FIU: Helmets, crutches, opponent’s legs and arms – all’s fair in love and football fights.

Advantage: UM/FIU – Since Stephen Jackson didn’t have his gun to protect his teammates, this round goes to UM/FIU. Anthony Reddick’s use of his helmet should get him a job in the WWE if his career in Miami is over. Get that man some John Randle face paint and he will scare more kids this Halloween than Albert Belle.

The Peacemakers:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: Some players from both teams, their coaching staffs, a few police officers and a Rent-A-Cop named Earl.
UM/FIU: Pretty much all of the Miami-Dade police department, Tubbs, and Crockett.

Advantage: UM/FIU – although close, this one would been UM/FIU in a landslide if Larry Coker was clinging to a Miami player’s leg a la Jeff Van Gundy.

Announcer reaction:
Pacers/Pistons/fans: I don’t remember much of what was said but I can assume the words horrible, oh no, terrible, embarrassing, etc were involved.
UM/FIU: Although he lost his job for it, because Lamar Thomas said “You don’t come into the OB playing that stuff,” now I don’t go into the OB playing that stuff. I learn quick.

Advantage: UM/FIU – Like Anthony Reddick, Thomas may have a career in the WWE either as an announcer or Reddick’s manager. Maybe he can distract the referee while Reddick hits his opponent with the helmet.

Fall out (suspension, penalties, et al.)
Pacers/Pistons/fans: multiple suspensions, fines, court appearances, the ruining of a pretty decent Pacer team, and Ron Artest becoming basketball’s biggest pariah since Latrell Sprewell.
UM/FIU: So far, 31 suspensions for at least one game, some FIU players getting dismissed, Reddick indefinitely out, and a few Miami players miss a game against football powerhouse Duke.

Advantage: Pacers/Pistons/fans – no one wins when David Stern is handing out suspensions. Miami won’t lose to Duke, Larry Coker will lose his job at the end of the season, and some of the same players in Saturday’s brawl will one day be in the NFL. Ain’t life fair?

Results:
In a 5-2 beatdown, the University of Miami/Florida International University Smackdown convincingly sets a new standard for team extracirricular activities. The biggest loser? The kids, of course. Think of the kids.

- Jordi

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2006
10.13


Let me pause for a moment from my normal rants and raves about sports and culture and take an introspective look at what I am doing here. Not introspective as in “what is my purpose in life?” or “why do people still remember Kato Kaelin or Clara Peller?” but introspective as in “what is this blog thing you speak of?”. Although this train has been a rollin’ for quite a while, I think it’s high time I took a look at the phenomenon of blogging, or Weblogging, to use its original name.

Thanks to Al Gore’s Internet and the Freedom of Speech, we have arrived at a time where most everyone can express themselves for the world to read (everyone of course, refering to those with computers and internet connections – you know, the civilized among us). From documenting the battles of war to analyzing the intricacies of college lacrosse to discussing the drama of the 9th grade dating scene, many people have taken the opportunity to type their piece and “publish” it for the world to read.

But imagine this phenomenon at an earlier time. How different would history have been if we had people blogging their thoughts on events through the years?

Take, for example, this prehistoric blog found on a Commodore 64 in the caves of Western Europe:
- Went hunting today for a bit. Decided not to draw on the walls like everyone else. I hate art. Maybe one day those Neanderthals will understand my idea of writing. But anyway. Gotta go. By the way, its getting a bit cold. Its been -38 degrees all year. Hopefully it warms up. Later.

And this blog from old England:
- Saw that Shakespeare guy the other night. Do ye a favor and do not go to see his plays. They are a complete and utter waste of time. Romeo and Juliet both die. Where is the drama in that? And his women characters? They are boys dressed as women. What a rip off. And when I walked out early, did they give me my shilling back? Not at all.

And could this blog have changed history?
- Hi world. My name is Adolf. Although I am not a big fan of Jews I think I am going to voice my opinion on here to let my stresses out. They iritate me so much! They need to go away. Move out of Germany, you Jews. My family thinks by me letting out steam on this blog I will be a more happy-go-lucky person, and I think they are right. So sorry about being so anti-Semitic but I gotta go. Peace and God bless.

Through their accessability and resulting impact, blogs have become our online diaries of sorts, accurately revealing the perspectives of today. Quite possibly even to a level of over-saturation. But those I feel truly sorry for with this blogging phenomenon are tomorrow’s literary historians. Whereas in the past, they had only the works of the literate minority to shine light on culture and popular life, with today’s “blogosphere” they will have an infinite clutter of information to sift through. How might a future historian determine what sources and opinions define the 21st century? In a strange way maybe the question is its own answer. Perhaps blogs have become our culture – a society defined by its freedom of expression, modern communications, and self-importance but with little to no restraint, moderation, or the substance of a defining voice.

- Jordi

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2006
10.10



Since everyone seems so intent on banishing Yankee 3rd baseman and New York whipping boy Alex Rodriguez from the Yankees, I have decided the best place for his exile is Tampa Bay. I am going to petition Major League Baseball to make this happen. Maybe even start www.MakeARodADevilRay.com. Why is this such a great idea? Besides the fact that I thought of it, here are a few reasons:

1) Get A-Rod out of New York:
Fair or not, the Yankees, the media, and the fans have not been particularly nice to Mr. Rodriguez. All he has done is his best. Their maniacal hunger for a champion has turned A-Rod into walking basketcase – like Rick Vaughn in Major League 2. For only 1.258 cents a day (39 cents a month) you can help end this suffering, write Major League Baseball, and insist the Yankees trade A-Rod today.

2) The Hispanic Potential:
How better to capitalize on the growing Central Florida Hispanic population then to petition Major League Baseball to trade A-Rod to Tampa Bay? Sure A-Rod is from Miami, but close enough. If the Orlando Magic are beginning to realize the region’s ethnic buying power by exploiting back-up point guard Carlos Arroyo, shouldn’t the Devil Rays do the same? As an added bonus, A-Rod in Tampa Bay also appeals to Bud Selig’s desire to expand baseball internationally. So help out ol’ Bud and tell him to make Alex the Hispanic Miggey Manto.

3) Playing in the Boss’s Backyard:
Imagine the fun of seeing George Stienbrenner’s face every morning when he picks up the St. Pete Times or the Tampa Tribune and sees A-Rod smiling back in his new Devil Rays jersey. And when the pressure is off, and Rodriguez goes back to being a Triple Crown threat, odds are the Boss cancels his newspaper subscription in anger. But that’s one frown in a sea of smiling faces. At least he is not a Yankee anymore, right George?

4) Parity at its Purist
True, the American League East shed its predictable standings this year, with the Blue Jays finshing in second instead of the Red Sox, but because parity starts at home (or is that cleanliness?) Major League Baseball should look to making the division a bit more competitive. And since the Red Sox and Blue Jays have sort of a plan, and the Orioles are just a complete mess, why not start by sharing the wealth with Tampa Bay? New exciting ownership, young nucleus, and fan base dying to put down their shuffleboard sticks and bingo cards to go see a winner.

As you can see, a mandated A-Rod to the Devil Rays trade makes perfect sense. All Tampa Bay has to offer is prize young 3rd baseman B.J. Upton and anyone else excluding Scott Kazmir, Delmon Young, and Carl Crawford. It is a win-win situation for everyone: Major League Baseball, the Yankees, the Devil Rays, the fans, and most importantly, Mr. Alex Rodriguez. So write Major League Baseball today. Do it for the kids.

Bud Selig’s Address:
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball
Allan H. (Bud) Selig, Commissioner
245 Park Avenue, 31st Floor
New York, NY 10167

- Jordi

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2006
10.04

First it was Pedro, now El Duque is hurt. With the Mets slowly running out of pitchers, can Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph take a flight to Tibet or Nepal or wherever and hunt down Sidd Finch? Faster than Pedro, craftier than El Duque, Sidd Finch is the Mets’ only hope. And at only 50 or 51 years old, Finch would still be the second oldest on the team to Julio Franco.

What would Sidd Finch bring to the Mets? Only a blazing fastball with impeccable control. Try and hit that, Los Angeles Dodgers. If the Mets can get Finch on the mound for Games 1 and 5, pray Glavine, Trachsel, or Maine get a win somewhere in between, all they have to do is wait for San Diego or St. Louis to come to town. (Preferrably the Padres, even with Finch on the mound Pujols still scares me.)

But who is Sidd Finch, you ask? For you youngsters out there, he pitched a few games for the Mets in 1985. Mastered the art of the pitch long before Greg Maddux. Struck almost everyone out. And did I mention he threw over 165 mph? (See links sidebar for more on Sidd Finch.)

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2006
10.03

New Season, New Batch of Knicks Rants (information acquired from the New York Post’s October 2nd “Knick Notes”):

“Knick superfan Spike Lee sounds as delighted as the players that Larry Brown is gone.”
———————-
Ok – let’s see… Larry Brown: championship coach this decade … Spike Lee? Hasn’t been with a winner since he did Malcolm X. But I did hear his Monday Night Football appearance was pleasant. And by the way, I think any “superfan” should wear a cape.
——————————

“Lee, who dropped by Knicks’ media day at the club’s practice facility, told The Post, ‘I was like the rest of the world – it would work out and Larry was going to lead us to the promised land. … It didn’t work out. Got to move forward. I’m not going to dog him, but you can’t have a coach calling the play every single time down. You have to let guys create in the framework.’”
———————-
The “Promise Land”? Not to be all Rick Pitino on you Spike, but Patrick Ewing is not walking through that door. This is not the early ’90s Knicks. And I thought calling the play was what coaches did, why else do they get paid? If anything, Larry Brown was underpaid for the plays he did call – that’s why he is suing the Knicks for the rest of his contract money.
———————-
“Lee won’t miss as many games as last season.
“I know [coach] Isiah [Thomas] has doubters, but I’m a believer it’s going to be a different season at the Garden. I think there’s a nucleus to build on. … People are going to hold on to their tickets now.’”
———————-
They are holding on to those tickets alright. That’s why you can go on EBay right now and find over 75 tickets for sale. But enough picking on Spike Lee …
——————————-
“Stephon Marbury contends he will play the whole season in his $15 Starbury Ones. ‘It’s the same [quality] shoe,’ said Marbury, referring to $150 Nikes.”
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I can’t wait until the first time Marbury’s soles start flapping off his shoes as he running down the court.
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“Center Jerome James said he’s much fitter for camp because he began training in June, as opposed to August last year. Responding to Mo Taylor’s assertion the Knicks have ‘a bad team,’ James said, ‘Mo Taylor is entitled to his opinion. My experience is we didn’t get a chance to jell as a unit. Look at the individuals – we have at least five, six All-Stars.’”
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Jerome James: not very good – as a basketball player or as a judge of talent. I heard he makes a swell cheesecake though. Ok, maybe not.
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Asked how much he weighs, Eddy Curry said, “I’m like a woman, I don’t talk about my weight.”
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Whatever the context, having your starting center compare himself to a woman is never a good sign.

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