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Oh yeah,

“Today … is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few Marines! God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?”
- Gunnery Sargeant Hartman

Happy Birthday to Jesus too.

And all through the Interwebs,
I’m the only one blogging,
all others are with family and friends.
——————-

Here’s a few things going through my head as I watch the highlight of NORAD’s year.

In Defense of Scrooge 1 and In Defense of Scrooge 2- Some interesting takes on how ol’ Ebenezer got a bad rap. Personally, I think it’s curious how people spend all year pinching every penny, touting big business, rooting for how great capitalism and social Darwinism is, bemoaning Scrooge, etc. but come Christmas time they temporarily put that aside, whip out their philanphropic side and make an effort to be the most giving souls on Earth. How about showing that all year round?

A note on Peace on Earth: If we really had Peace on Earth, do you have an idea how many people would be unemployed? We wouldn’t need a military, military contractors, military lobbyists, supporters, etc. We wouldn’t spend our money on weapons and radars and missles and the like. We would have countless more unemployed youthes wandering our streets, washing our windshields, begging on streetcorners, or resorting to a life of crime. Do we really want that? So next time you wish for Peace on Earth, think of the soldiers, airmen, sailors, or Marines whose very livelihood depends on a certain amount of unpeaceful chaos.

Speaking of conflict, William Loren Katz of Counterpunch.org remembers the Christmas Eve 1837 battle between the Seminole Indians and the U.S. military. It was one of the first victories for the Seminole Nation and an important milestone in their reputation as the “Unconquered Tribe”. (Note: My esteemed alma mater makes a big deal of the whole “Unconquered” thing.)

Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow with a special toast and a big announcement, but in the meantime, hopefully Santa is good to one and all and here’s hoping his little buddy Black Pete doesn’t show up and kick your ass.

Merry Christmas.

Ok, this isn’t a music video, but in honor (or is it in memoriam?) of Sasha Baron Cohen’s hilarious Ali G, here is Ali G’s Christmas wishes to the people. Big ups, yo.

I may be the only person who thinks so, but I prefer Ali G over Borat. Both are great, but I like Ali G’s style and subtleness better. Anyway, for all my peeps, peep the rest of my music vids that have been on blast throughout the week. And yo, more to come so don’t be acting the fool. Come back soon. Peace.

Although I normally abstain from politics on The Serious Tip, today’s Christmas video is quite political. However, for many years, this fact escaped me. That’s why, despite any non-Christmas meanings and possible adaptation to today’s political-social-military climate, I present John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s Happy Christmas (War is Over).

For a more depressing YouTube video featuring the same song click HERE. If this doesn’t either make you cry, angry, or want to drink the sorrows of the world away, I don’t know what will.

Anyway, as I said, even before I knew this was a political tune, I liked it. As I’ve gotten older, of course, it’s gained relevance, as have many of John Lennon’s other songs. But unfortunately, as Forrest Gump said “for no particular reason, somebody shot” John Lennon.

Once again, in case you missed any episodes in The Serious Tip‘s Great Christmas Video Extravaganza 2007, here they are:

Day 1: Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson – Walking in a Winterwonderland
Day 2: Brian Setzer – Sleigh Ride
Day 3: John Denver and the Muppets – 12 Days of Christmas
Day 4: Twisted Sister – O Come All Ye Faithful
Day 5: Run DMC – Christmas in Hollis

Four days until Christmas. You know what that means? It means it’s Decemember 21st. It also means another quality Christmas video. Think of coming to this site like one of those Advent Calendars, you know, the ones where you open a little fold every day to reveal another picture of a gift. Well, today’s gift is the song that got me into hip-hop way back 20 years ago. A little ditty called “Christmas in Hollis” by Run D.M.C. Enjoy.

My mom never made collared greens or cheese and macaroni for Christmas dinner. Maybe that’s the reason I didn’t end up as cool as D.M.C.

Once again, in case you missed any of these other fine videos:

Day 1: Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson – Walking in a Winterwonderland
Day 2: Brian Setzer – Sleigh Ride
Day 3: John Denver and the Muppets – 12 Days of Christmas
Day 4: Twisted Sister – O Come All Ye Faithful

As we inch ever so closer to the celebrated day of St. Nicholas, we can rejoice in knowing our thoughts and hopes have been well-documented throughout the years by many fine musicians. Today’s selection is a beautiful rendition of “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” performed by none other than Twisted Sister.

Without a doubt, the Twisted Sister Christmas album is one of the best Christmas releases in a long time. Their “Heavy Metal Christmas” is probably the best song on the album. Any Christmas song that talks about tattoos, pentagrams, and bottles of Jack Daniels get my vote.

In case you missed any of my other totally fave Christmas tunes:
Day 1: Ozzy and Jessica Simpson – “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”
Day 2: Brian Setzer – “Sleigh Ride”
Day 3: John Denver and the Muppets – “12 Days of Christmas”

Of course, much credit to Greedo’s 101 Christmas videos 2006 & 2007.

For all the bad press surrounding Florida State University lately, and with other stories of crime and punishment permeating the rest of the sports world, once again the Warrick Dunn Foundation has presented a welcome respite.

On December 18, Osei Nyahuma of Tallahassee, FL, became the latest recipient of a new home courtesy of former Seminole and current Atlanta Falcon Warrick Dunn. According to the Tallahassee Democrat, the 51-year old Nyahuma is “the first man and the first Tallahassee recipient of Dunn’s foundation”. Since its inception in 1997, the Warrick Dunn Foundation has assisted over 70 single parents and nearly 200 children and dependants in getting homes throughout the southeast, from Baton Rouge, La, to Atlanta, Ga, to Tampa, Fla., and now in Tallahassee.

Claiming stories like this should get front page headlines over those involving sex, drugs, and crime is an overused cliché. I am not going to beat that dead horse. However, after seeing my alma mater continuously drug through the mud this week due to the misdeeds of a few academic underachievers, I felt the need to point out that at least some good has come out of the Florida State University football program.

(Image: Mike Ewen/Tallahassee Democrat)

In this third installment of my holiday music countdown extravaganza, I’d like to share a song from my favorite holiday album of all time. Ever since I was a wee lad I’ve listened to the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album. I highly recommend it. There is your usual sing-along fare, and then there are some deep introspective be-one-with-the-world songs, including one with perhaps my favorite lyric, “what a newborn baby dreams is a mystery”.

Anyway, here is “12 Days of Christmas” by John Denver and a plethora of jolly Muppets.

In case you missed out, see part one of my holiday jam fest, Ozzy Osborne and Jessica Simpson’s “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”. Or part two, Brian Setzer’s “Sleigh Ride”.

As usual, most of these great videos and more are featured on Greedo’s 101 Christmas Videos 2006 & 2007.

For those who don’t know already, I’ve also been peddling my wares and talking some hoops over at YaySports!. Throughout the year, the blogmaster of YaySports!, the Cavalier, has had both myself and fellow Epic Carnival mastermind Jack Cobra cameo while he completes the mother of all blogger-created basketball-themed movies, Who Shot Mamba? Tentatively scheduled for release in 2008, Who Shot Mamba? will tell the tale of the mysterious Mamba, who may or may not have been mysteriously murdered. Such details are mysterious indeed.

In eager anticipation of this momentous event, I’ve scoured the annals of cinema to put forth the ultimate competition: a team of actors attempting to be basketball stars versus a team of basketball stars attempting to be actors.

I’ll admit this isn’t an inclusive list, but these are the best all-round teams I could think of.

(Not included: Carmelo Anthony in the award-winning “Stop Snitchin’“.)

(Additional note: only one pick per movie. That was my rule.)

The Hollywood Hoopsters

PG – Calvin Cambridge (Like Mike) – Not too many actors like passing the rock, so by default Cambridge gets the call here.

SG – Scott Howard (Teen Wolf) – As a human, Howard was a mild-mannered pass-first, defensive-minded fundamental average white-guy guard. But as the wolf, Howard turned into an elusive scorer with a wicked first step.

SF – Jimmy Chitwood (Hoosiers) – One of the best pure shooters in basketball history, Chitwood was money from outside.

PF – Juwanna Mann (Juwanna Mann) – A tough position to fill. Not too many Hollywood stars willing to attack the boards and get garbage points.

C - Elliot Richards (Bedazzled) – The man broke Wilt Chamberlain’s scoring record, had a quintuple-double, and played like a giant. Too bad he had the IQ of a door mouse.

Their opponents: the B-Movie Ballers

PG – Penny Hardaway (Blue Chips) – The movie that made Penny Hardaway an Orlando Magic guard. Not a bad NBA career, but never made another film. And for that we can thankful.

SG – Ray Allen (He Got Game) – I’ll admit, I am like the only person in the world who hasn’t seen this. But I heard it’s one of the better actor-baller roles in movie history.

SF – Michael Jordan (Space Jam) – Before swatting Kevin Bacon and sharing his drawers with Cuba Gooding, Michael Jordan used to be a pretty good basketball player. Yeah, he is out of position here, but I couldn’t leave Ray Allen off the roster.

PF – Dennis Rodman (Double Team) – In the rare basketball star in a non-basketball movie, Rodman kicks rear with the great Jean Claude Van Damme, not giving a van damme what David Stern thinks. And matches up well with opposing drag queen Juwanna Mann.

C – Shaquille O’Neal (Steele) – Sure Kazaam was a better movie, but I liked Steele, in a leave your brain at the concession stand and watch Shaq fight crime sort of way.

So who wins this epic battle of the silver screen? I’d favor the real athletes, but you can never underestimate the magic of Hollywood.