MichaelLortz.com/JordiScrubbings.com

Instead of watching the Hornets put away the Mavericks and other NBA playoff action, I spent the night checking out some NHL.

Now I’ll be the first to admit, even though I think the 1980 US-USSR Olympic hockey game is the greatest sporting event in American history, I’m pretty hockey stupid. On a scale of 1 to 10, my hockey knowledge is a weak 4. I know the rules, a few dozen current players, and can name a few all-time greats.

That said, the NHL playoffs are the most intense of any of the big four sports and should not be missed.

So pardon my ignorance, I’m talking hockey.

A buffet for thought:

- Although a lot of basketball pundits are discussing the emergence of young stars such as Dwight Howard and Chris Paul as positive signs for the future of the NBA, how much more important is it for the NHL that the Pittsburgh Penguins and specifically Sidney Crosby make it far into the playoffs, if not win the Stanley Cup? Crosby is one of the most marketable players in hockey right now and a Stanley Cup win or other national exposure could possibly push him into the elite echelon of crossover athletes and some marketable endorsement deals. How many hockey players endorse any national products right now? The only thing I can think of is Gatorade.

- Good to see Madison Square Garden hosting some playoff action. Must be a relief to the MSG workers to not have to change the place around for Knicks playoff games. I haven’t said that phrase in while.

- Speaking of the aforementioned Gatorade advertising, can we please stop using O Fortuna in commercials, movies, and other pop culture? According to Urban Dictionary.com, “it has been used in popular movies such as Jackass: The Movie, The Hunt for Red October, and Natural Born Killers“, as well as The Doors, numerous WWE commercials, a Capitol One credit card commercial, and a beer ad. If I was so inclined, I could probably put together a top 10 list of O Fortuna uses. But I am lazy. Like anyone that uses O Fortuna.

- When was the last time there was a decent hockey movie? And don’t say The Mighty Ducks. Ok, maybe the Mystery, Alaska flick. That wasn’t bad.

- In tonight’s Pittsburgh-New York game, the Rangers outshot the Penguins 39 to 17, yet still lost 5 to 3. Imagine if an NBA team took twice as many shots as their opponent. Then imagine they still lost by nearly double the score. I’m not crunching the numbers because I am too lazy, but I would guess basketball might be the only sport in which the attempts to score are generally even. In football, one team can control the ball and get double the amount of yards as their opponent and still lose. In baseball, although the amount of outs are the same per team, one team can put double the amount of runners in scoring position or get double the amount of hits and still lose. Something to think about.

Every four years, Americans are given a choice. A choice that determines who will represent them and lead their nation. Unfortunately, like the Disney Empire’s ESPN-led monopoly on popular sports news, the leading American presidential candidates are often pre-determined by media conglomerates and corporate interests.

Similar to sports bloggers and other creative fans attempting to breach the ESPN hegemony, many frustrated Americans have announced their candidacy and are running in the 2008 US Presidential Election. Like bloggers, these independent candidates are using every platform available in an attempt to break the mainstream media’s stranglehold on popular candidate selection.

With the common goal of giving the masses an alternate option, it is only natural that bloggers should extend their small corner of the Internet to independent presidential candidates. After finding a complete list of candidates on Politics1.com, The Serious Tip contacted local Florida candidate Mark B. Graham and asked for an interview. Mr. Graham was kind enough to respond.

The Serious Tip: Who is Mark Graham?

Mark B. Graham: Well, Mark Graham is 47, lives in Florida over 30 years. Married with 3 loving children. And was a youth coach in football and baseball in Okeechobee. Goes to the Methodist church. Also he is a hard working man who loves hobbies like fishing, hunting, and playing golf.

TST: Why run for president?

MBG: The reason I am running for President: I am tired of the Republicans and Democrats parties saying they are for every American in the United States. My Vision as an independent president: get elected by and serving you the American voters, not the political parties. My goal is to help the people of the United States.

TST: What did you have to do to become a candidate?

MBG: Well, first i had to meet the requirments of becoming president

The age of 36 and older

Born in the United States

Then I wrote to (FEC) Federal Election Commission and requested form STATEMENT OF CANDIDACY fill out and return to FEC

TST: What are your expectations as we enter the last few months before the election?

MBG: My expectations the last few months before are to get the word out about my campaign and show the people of the United States there is a third choice for President that can cover all the issues to work toward a better America.

TST: What type of campaigning have you done?

MBG: Well I have Campaign on the World Wide Web. Also have done a few radio shows also signs and fliers (ed note: Mark B. Graham is also on YouTube and Myspace.)

TST: What has been your biggest challenge?

MBG: Well my biggest challenges in 2008 is the Media. They dont want to give full coverage all the Candidates running for President in 2008.

TST: Being that I have written quite a bit on sports, what is your position on sports-related political issues such as steroid abuse in baseball, the Olympics in China, etc?

MBG: I feel that as a nation we try to show the world we are the best in sports and we must strive not to get a black eye from people striving to make money from steroid use in Baseball and Football. As one of the Nations around this world the Olympics is for the best athletes.

TST: Have you yet decided on a running mate?

MBG: No, not yet

TST: How can someone join the Mark Graham movement?

MBG: Well there is many ways to join the Mark Graham movenment. First www.markbgraham2008.com or you can e-mail me at markbgraham2008@yahoo.com.

Please remember to sign my petition on my web site www.markbgraham2008.com.

TST: Who are you going to vote for in November?

MBG: Mark B. Graham

The NFL Draft is on right now.

There were years the draft would be my weekend. I’d wake up, watch the draft, go out, drink, come home at around 3 am, wake up, watch the rest of the draft, eat pizza and chicken wings, and call it a good weekend.

This year, I am abstaining. I am watching the NBA and NHL playoffs instead.

So who watches the draft, and who doesn’t?

This week I read two convincing posts from the sports blogosphere about the pros and cons of the NFL draft.

(ed. note: I just realized “pros” and “cons” could also apply to many draft picks [ex. Mike Vick, Chris Henry, Pacman Jones, etc.] throughout the years. Get it? They became pros on draft day and turned into cons. Ah, what do you know from funny? Anyway …)

On Thursday, Big Daddy Drew of Kissing Suzy Kolber cameoed on Deadspin.com with a post entitled “If You Don’t Like The NFL Draft, You Can Suck It: Your NFL Draft Jamboroo“. BDD claims the draft is a needed oasis during a long NFL offseason, a way football fans can ease their collective football jonesing.

The next day, Daft Punk of Thunder Matt’s Saloon labeled the NFL Draft “overrated” in his post “Overrated: The NFL Draft“.

According to Daft Punk, the most overrated aspect of the NFL Draft is ESPN’s Mel Kiper, Jr. Punk calls him “one-trick pony” who’s entire existance depends on ESPN’s over-hyping of the draft. Daft also mentions that Kiper is way too conservative in his analysis, claiming,

“Mel Kiper Jr. just continues to play it safe, never truly criticizing any players or making outrageous predictions that would make the draft much more enjoyable”.

Big Daddy Drew, on the other hand, writes Kiper is one of the best things about the draft. BDD writes,

“After my team drafts a player, I rely on Mel to get me properly excited about his prospects. And what he needs to work on! What’s that, Mel? He’s got great agility? NICE. Excellent lateral movement? Fucking double nice. Bit of a tweener? Oh, I don’t like the sound of that. But he’s explosive off the edges?! (creams jeans)

The fact that the draft is on all weekend is also a point of contention between Daft Punk and Big Daddy Drew. According to BDD,

“Okay, so the whole thing drags a bit. So flip over to something else for a bit. Check out the day’s token Horrible, Early Eastern Conference Playoff Game. Or watch a flick. Or go to the gym. When you’re back, there’ll only have been three new picks! You didn’t miss jack shit. Draft weekend means there’s always something interesting to tune into. You can season the rest of your TV watching with bits of draft from here and there.”

For Daft Punk, length isn’t always a good thing.

“Admit it. You don’t watch the whole draft. Even the most hardcore fans don’t watch more than the first round. I’m like most people. If I do watch, it’s usually just until my favorite team picks, and then I’m on my way to enjoy the rest of my Saturday. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if 100 football fans were polled and asked if they cared about the entire draft or just when their favorite team was picking, 98 of them would say they only cared about their own team. And maybe you watch it because someone from your alma mater may be picked, and that’s cool too. But other than that, there really is no reason to watch the draft live, especially if your team doesn’t have a top pick. Just log onto ESPN on Sunday night and check out the results there. I know that looking at a box score is not the same as actually watching a baseball game, but with something as long and boring and drawn out as the draft is, it makes more sense to go out and enjoy your weekend and check in on the draft later.”

Check out both of these guys’ posts for more point/ counterpoint about the NFL Draft. Great stuff.

So who’s right? Is the NFL Draft overrated? Or does the draft serve purpose as a key fix for NFL fans who don’t get any sporting action between the end of the Super Bowl in February and the opening of NFL training camps in July?

My guess is that today Daft Punk is probably drinking beer, watching the Cubs, and celebrating Thunder Matt’s Saloon’s second birthday. Big Daddy Drew, on the other hand, is probably likewise drinking beer, but is likely somehow involved in the KSK family’s NFL Draft LiveBlog 2008.

As long as there is copious amounts of beer being drank, to each his own I guess.

During the last five years or so, Major League Baseball has been invaded by a plethora of Molinas. Between Benji, Jose, and Yadier “F’in” Molina, hardly a game goes by without a Molina in a box score. They are like the old Alous.

Now Molinas are invading Olympic boxing. Via Intersections (via Global Voices Online) comes the story of twin brothers Javier and Oscar Molina, both of whom will be competing in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

Here is the twist: Javier will be boxing for the U.S and Oscar will be representing Mexico. Because they aren’t in the same weight class, however, there will not be the possibility of an all-Molina battle for the gold. But there could be two Molinas winning medals.

Yet the question remains: can the catching Molinas and the boxing Molinas overcome the world-wide popularity of Alfred Molina, the actor best known as Spiderman 2′s Dr. Otto Octavious a.k.a Dr. Octopus a.k.a. Doc Ock?

In other news, I have a favorite bowler. Not only did Chris Loschetter graduate from the same university as I did (in the same year!) but he originally hails from my hometown.

Speaking of other greats from Melbourne, FL, tonight I am going to see the illustrious Tim Wakefield pitch against the Rays. Just wanted to flutter that one by you.

Get it? Flutter? Knuckleball? Wakefield?

Oy. What do you know from funny?

For those wanting current events: a bunch of hockey, basketball, and baseball games were played. I did in fact watch some of the games. I can unequivocally assert that those teams that scored more points won. Those with less points we declared the losers. To the winners went the spoils and to the losers went the agony of defeat.

It happens.

Random fact: 12% of Russia’s iron and steel industry is still concentrated in Sverdlovsk Oblast.

And just in case you thought that Kobe Bryant car commercial and its numerous spin-offs were hot, just remember, the Dancing Baby did the same shtick 10 years ago. Ain’t nothing changed but the names.

The Great Jordi has spoken on this, the 25th of April, 2008.

I am still catching up with some of the weekend happenings, so this is a little late, but I couldn’t resist some deep baseball statistical analysis.

Rays pitcher Andy Sonnanstine has pitched four games this year. He is 2-1 with a 5.55 ERA. He has given up 25 hits in 24.1 innings pitched, walked only four, and opponents are hitting .263 against him.

In his four starts, Sonnanstine won his first and his most recent. Three of these starts have been at Tropicana Field. At home, Sonnanstine has a 5.40 ERA, allowing 11 runs in 18.1 innings. Despite early struggles, in his most recent start, Sonnanstine threw a complete game three-hit shutout against the White Sox.

So what was different between his latest home start and his earlier home outings? Did something magically click?

I don’t think so.

You want my theory?

I’ve been two games at Tropicana Field this year. Both were started by Andy Sonnanstine and were Rays losses. In the two games I’ve attended, Sonnanstine has allowed 16 hits, 4 home runs, and 11 earned runs in 12.1 innings.

In the game I didn’t go to, Sonnanstine threw a complete game shutout.

Even more coincidental, I had tickets to Sonnanstine’s latest start but gave them away before I went out of town for the weekend.

I know it’s a small sample set, but thus far, Sonnanstine has an 8.18 JSiA ERA (Jordi Scrubbings in Attendance Earned Run Average). His JSiA OBA (Jordi Scrubbings in Attendance Opponents’ Batting Average) is .340. His non-JSiA ERA is 2.40 and opponents’ are only hitting .173 in non-JSiA situations.

Unfortunately, I think we are into pattern status. I give myself one more Sonnanstine start at the Trop before I admit I am officially Andy Sonnanstine’s personal jinx.

Pardon my lateness, but for the last four days I was far from communications, wandering deep in the mountains of the land of coal and steel. Only today did I hear the joyous news.

All praise due to St. Patrick, St. Walt, and St. Willis!

We have been liberated!

In the words of the Great Joey, we have been delivered!

And now it is time for me to say goodbye to a life of loneliness. To share bittersweet farewells with those other disenfranchised fans I have befriended since my vagabond days began.

Yet I cannot disguise my joy. Finally I can go home.

Three long years have passed since I started my boycott. And now it’s over. The Reign of Terror has passed.

My only fear is that from his token post the tyrant Thomas does not have the power to purge those who opposed his rule.

I go home tentively, but with the confidence that I can now have optimism. I can care. I can sing, I can dance, and I can praise without the heartcrushing depression that has seized my homeland for years.

So now it is our turn to rebuild. To make our nation once again the crown jewel of the NBA. For us to rise up and cheer louder than we ever have.

For the era of darkness is over.

Praise be to St. Patrick, St. Willis, and St. Walt!

See some of my past correspondences here:

April 10th, 2008.

January 8, 2008.

December 4th, 2008.

December 2, 2008.

In light of the Washington Post firing Kissing Suzy Kolber blogger Michael Tunison, aka “Christmas Ape”, because he “outed” himself as a blogger, I was most surprised by one particular comment. According to Michael David Smith of AOL Fanhouse, “Tunison says at KSK that he can make the same income he was getting at the Post by writing for KSK“.

Really?

No way.

Is there that much money floating around that a growing number of people can actually make a living as sports bloggers?

Seriously, that boggles the mind, like trying to catch up to a bottle of Heinz.

You mean I could possibly make money doing this?

With the economy going down the crapper, people around the world rioting in the streets just get a bite to eat, and the price of gas costing the sacrifice of your first born, someone might actually pay me a significant amount to write sarcastic comments about sports?

Now I’ve been sarcastic my whole life and have been blogging for over a year and half. You know how much I have made on these talents?

Not one red cent.

So with that said, best of luck to ol’ Christmas Ape. If all else fails, I’m sure he can find a couch to crash on amongst the KSK family.

In other news …

Governments in foreign countries like to ban things, like the Simpsons. (Global Voices Online)

Jimi Hendrix – the playing card mosiac. (CNN.com)

10 Reasons why Shea Stadium is better than that other New York stadium. (10 Spot Blog)

Like Socrates, women in Iran like baseball. (Global Voices Online) See pics here. (Shirzanan.com)

In closing, a sad story out of the blues music world. Blues singer/ guitarist Sean Costello has passed away at the age of 28. There aren’t that many young blues players and with the older generation getting smaller and smaller, the loss of any bluesperson is a tragic one, especially when they are talented as Costello. (World Music Central) See Costello’s Myspace here.

The Great Jordi has spoken on this, the 18th day of April, 2008.

While I am still not done gathering my stuff from YaySports!, I figured I would pass the time with another important pubic service announcement:

Oops, wait. Oh no, YouTube, you’re playing the wrong message.

Anyway, myself and the illustrious Jay Busbee of Atlanta Magazine.com’s Right Down Peachtree, his own Sports Gone South, Yahoo! Sports’ From the Marbles, and countless other places, are throwing down the gauntlet for yet another bet. Like last year, we are wagering one exceptionally written post on the rival’s site that our team will win the season series versus the other’s preferred group of athletic competitors.

In other words, if the Mets beat the Braves more times than the Braves beat the Mets, you will see Jay Busbee on yet another site (this one). But if the Braves beat the Mets more than the Mets beat the Braves, my loquacious literary libations will magically materialize at a potentially peculiar place.

Oh yeah, the loser’s subject: “the most intriguing player (in the history of) the other guy’s team”.

Now the Braves have had some weirdos. Just keeping it in Atlanta, the early odds on favorite is definitely Pascual Perez.

My most humble apologies. For the last few days I have been copying over my many posts from Yaysports!NBA to The Serious Tip. Although it is a time consuming process and will cause chaos to your RSS feed, I wanted to save these posts for archival purposes. With The Cavalier doing who-knows-what to his site in preparation for the release of his film Who Shot Mamba?, I figured it best to clean my junk off of his site and put it on here.

For those interested in re-living the past, or for those who missed out on the Yaysports! Jordi era, you can read all my past goodness by clicking here.

Apparently there are people out there who are uninquisitive. People who don’t like thinking. People who are willing to accept the world as it is. People who don’t ask why. People who don’t drink Bud Dry.

Those people probably shouldn’t read any further.

For the rest of you, I had an epiphany the other day that I want to share. Actually, it was more of a question or dilemma or a ponderance. Whatever.

Has anyone yet researched who the best baseball fielders are in pressure situations? We often hear that Team A has a XYZ batting average in late inning pressure situations (LIPS), but we never hear what player or team plays the best defense in the same situations, which would, of course, effect the aforementioned batting average of Team A.

Assuming players are slightly more likely to let a ball drop with no outs and no one on base, it would stand to reason that in pressure situations, fielders are more “on their toes”, which in turn may increase “range factor“. Or perhaps the opposite is true and certain players freeze up under pressure.

Although I don’t suspect every player turns into Bill Buckner with the game on the line, I would not be surprised to find a slight variance in fielding metrics dependent on the number of outs in an inning or how many runners are on base. Digging deeper, this could also show what individual runners effect the defense the most while they are on base.

Just something I thought of. If someone has figured this out already, please send me a link. I’m curious.

Anyway, on to less analytical, brain-taxing subjects:

I faced a major decision Sunday night: do I watch Return of the Jedi on Spike or the Yankees vs. the Red Sox on ESPN? I figured either way I would get my daily dose of an Evil Empire.

And just in case you aren’t excited enough between the upcoming NBA playoffs and the ongoing NHL playoffs, the D-League playoffs start April 15th. So file an extension, or pull a Pete Rose and don’t file at all, and watch Rod Benson and his Dakota Wizards take on the Sioux Falls Skyforce and former Florida State Seminole Michael Joiner.

By the way, am the only one who secretly yearns for Josh Childress and Chris Kaman to join Kobe and Shaq, Kevin Garnett and LeBron, and Chris Paul and Dwight Howard in the split-face NBA commercials?

The Great Jordi has spoken on this, the 13th day of April, 2008.