JordiScrubbings.com

I don’t know how true this is, but according to the Weekly World News (and confirmed on MSNBC), rap uber-star Lil Wayne is having his prison sentence delayed until after he gets “necessary dental treatment”.

What, did the gold in his mouth turn his gums green?

More moons ago than I would like to count, I had quite a bit of dental work done. I had braces, an array of retainers, my wisdom teeth and four others removed, and then braces again. For lack of a better term, my teenage years were a trial in orthodontics.

Even right before I left for the Army, I was, as we say around the way, “on wire”. I remember the day we told my orthodontist that the braces had to go. He was not a happy camper. He had plans for me. Plans that included additional oral surgery (the recommended surgeon told us he wanted to break my jaw in four pieces and then reassemble it!)  and two more rounds of braces. This at a cost of well over 15,000 dollars.

Of course, before we resigned from his orthopedic adventure, he and his cabal warned me. They warned me that if not in a few years, then definitely when I was in my 20s the back of my jaw would start clicking against itself. Then it would be painful to eat. Then, who knows, maybe my jaw would fall off.

Not only did their premonition not come true when I was in the Army, but 11 years later, my jaw is still fine. No clicking. No clacking. No grinding. No pain.

Hear that, Lil Wayne? I didn’t delay my commitments. I took my chances.