MikeLortz.com/JordiScrubbings.com

Back in the day when I was young (I’m not a kid anymore, but some days I like to wish I was a kid again) and just getting into hip-hop, I was a big MC Hammer fan. I still remember seeing the “U Can’t Touch This” video on my birthday one year and it totally making my day. Not only was Hammer my favorite rapper for the first month liked hip-hop, but his lyrics were the first I ever memorized. I had his songs down before any of my other suburbanite friends.

So in honor of Hammer, today’s post title is a paraphrase of the “U Can’t Touch This” lyric: “I’ve been around the world/ from London to the Bay/ It’s Hammer, Go Hammer, MC Hammer, Yo Hammer/ oh, the rest can go and play/ U can’t touch this”.

And the following are links you can’t touch. Unless of course you have an iPad, then touching them is highly recommended.

- Did you know May 17th to 23rd was National Hemp Week? If I knew that I would have bought a hemp necklace from a local hippie. Maybe even watched a little Cheech and Chong.

- Speaking of altered states of being, here is an essay on the powers of African mysticism and their possible effect on African World Cup teams. However long, it is definitely worth the read. Here is a sample:

Nearly all the supporters in the streets of Ouagadougou have absolute faith in the effects of black magic on football in Africa. Abdoul Kader, who sells loincloths, sees black magic not as the devil’s art, but as a form of medicine. He confirms that everyone in Africa uses it. “It’s like that even when there’s a friendly match between market stall holders. You weaken the opponent so that you can win.”
But the authorities deny there is any question of that.

- Also on the subject of soccer, the Congolese Soccer Team was expelled from Rwanda after a near riot broke out after a controversial call. One player may or may not have “disappeared” before being able to leave the country.

- Keeping it international, check out this post on a new Mongolian rock band called Jonon. At least I think this is the Mongolian version of rock.

Here is a YouTube clip:

- Bringing it way back to the US, the guys over at The Starting Five interviewed Ernie Johnson of TNT Sports. Johnson has been one of the best to do it for a long time and he shares some his experiences and knowledge in this great interview.

- Going even more local, check out this hilarious exchange between a Tampa-area librarian and local blogger/writer Clark Brooks. Clark doesn’t take to kindly to being told he has a stolen library card.

(Note about the Tampa-area libraries: they aren’t really user friendly. At least the satellite one by my apartment isn’t. Maybe in the main library they have more knowledgeable attendants, but the little old lady behind the counter in the one I visited looked lost behind a computer. She might know books, but information management and library science seemed way out of her league.)

- Finally, last but definitely not least, on Thursday, June 3rd, the University of Chicago will be screening Space Jam, starring Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan. Although automatically of interest to the Chicago faithful due to the acting debut of Jordan, the screening has gained national interest on Deadspin.com due to the fact that it will also feature commentary by a professor who believes Space Jam has similarities to ancient Mayan texts.

If you think that’s weird, stay tuned for my upcoming 1,000 word treatise on Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner. It will knock your socks off.