MichaelLortz.com/JordiScrubbings.com

I know this is going to sound like an understatement for those who know what’s in or what’s going on (writing this while listening to Marvin Gaye, btw), but over the last five years or so the hipster culture has seeped itself into the mainstream, or at least into the places I find socially interesting – bars, microbreweries, and places of live musical entertainment.

I was completely outside this cultural phenomenon. This is the first trend I was too old for. I was the older guy at the bar with a good paying job I busted my ass to get (might be some white privilege there, but let’s move past that), drinking a good beer, while the kid several years younger sipped from a beer I didn’t even like when I was his age.

(If anyone can explain the allure of Pabst Blue Ribbon, I will gladly listen. I drank it once after hearing Dennis Hopper proclaim his proclivity for it in “Blue Velvet”. It hurt my stomach. Other than that, it reminds me of Faygo to the Juggalo folks – just a cheap alternative to hang your cultural hat on.)

Anyway, according to this lengthy super-analytical article, Hipsterism is dead – squashed by the same cultural progression that swallowed the hippies, the punks, and the b-boys. Eventually, most music either gets marginalized or consumed by the mainstream. The wheel of social musical evolution keeps turning, I guess.

The article mentions the hipsters stood for something and that they expressed themselves through the music and their dress. Now I’m not going to ask what it was the hipsters fought for, if they were in fact were fighting. (Of course, with most music-driven anti-establishment cultures, only a few are doing the fighting, the rest are dressing the role. But I digress here, because I don’t know who is who.)

There is always some sort of injustice in the world, whether is domestic abuse or the waste, fraud, and abuse of the military/political/industrial/corporate complex. Take your pick. But one thing I have learned is that the post-college early 20-something age group (of which most hipsters I’ve seen are) tend to be highly idealistic. Again nothing wrong with that. More power to them.

Maybe I am feeling like Huey Freeman lately, less idealistic than I did in years past. The system is still off-kilter, but dressing out of the norm and what ever else the hipsters did won’t change that. In order to change the system, you have to be the system and force it to change from the inside out. Work in the belly of the beast, give it an ulcer, and cause its guts to spill. And as Paris says, “Never let them know you understand their plan”.

And look imposing enough to do it.

But if hipsterism is dead, oops. I guess I missed out on that. Wake me up when the next trend comes along. I’ll be sleeping on my hammock with a case of fine imported brew at my side.

(This post originally appeared on Bus Leagues Baseball.com)

Nearly a year to the day before he died, Brian, Eric, and I discussed the idea that I should interview Randy Poffo about his brief minor league career.

Poffo, better known as “Macho Man” Randy Savage, played ever so briefly for the Gulf Coast League Cardinals, the Gulf Coast League Red Birds, the Orangeburg Cardinals, and the Tampa Tarpons. As other people have mentioned, he didn’t play long and after an injury, he changed his name to “Randy Savage” and decided to try the pro wrestling route.

(Here is an absolute must-read article by Jeff Pearlman on Randy Poffo’s love for baseball and his minor league career.)

After agreeing that an interview with Randy Poffo would be a great story, I surfed the web for any contact info for the Macho Man. A visit to a few web sites informed me that he had recently tied the knot, but I failed to find an email or any representative contact information. So I shelved the idea and wrote the name “Macho Man” Randy Savage on my potential interview list.

The problem with putting ideas on the back burner is sometimes they burn away.

Having grown up when pro wrestling was blowing up in a national sense, I was always a big Macho Man fan, as were millions and millions of kids my age. His stories and situations were always among the best and you knew no matter who he fought, he was going to put on a hell of a match. I got into wrestling as he was feuding with George “The Animal” Steele and followed him throughout his WWF/WWE career.

Although he wrestled in various other promotions throughout the late 90s and into the 2000s, I never saw another Macho Man match after he left the WWF. I know better now, but in those days I used to think anything outside of WWF/WWE was an inferior product, with less capable wrestlers. I thought WWF/WWE was “the big leagues” and would never consider “the minors” as equal entertainment.

Funny how things change.

Those who know me well know my interest in lower level baseball is almost matched by my interest in lower level professional wrestling. For that I have to thank my brother, professional wrestler Bryan Maddox. For over six years, he has wrestled throughout the State of Florida, working in the ring or behind the scenes with such legendary names as Haku, Afa the Wild Samoan, Jimmy Hart, and Scott Hall (aka Razor Ramon). Ironically, he was also once on the same card as Randy Poffo’s brother, “The Genius” Lanny Poffo. My brother’s wrestling career has taught me that like the bus leagues, it takes years of dedication, hard work, and several lucky breaks to make it in professional wrestling.

There were several times I talked to my brother about my idea to interview the Macho Man. Every time I mentioned it, he concurred that it would make a great story and that I was the right person to do it. Unfortunately, I never attempted to use his contacts to track down the Macho Man.

In January of this year, as we planned the Bus Leagues agenda, I reiterated to Brian and Eric how this would be the year I would interview Randy Savage. “My goal this year is to interview Macho Man Randy Savage on his minor league career. I don’t care who I have to elbow drop,” I wrote in an email to them.

“I’ll say now what I said when you first mentioned it: that would be completely awesome,” Brian wrote back.

“That would need to be on the site. We could not hold that for a book. Everyone would link to an interview with Randy Poffo. We would win the internet for the day,” I replied.

Two weeks ago, and only 10 days before he died, I again wrote to Eric and Brian that I was going to pursue the Macho Man interview. I now work in Sarasota and it would be convenient for me to drive from work one evening and talk to the legendary former grappler. All I had to do was find the right contact and line it up.

Once again, however, my effort to find a contact was minimal. I did another cursory glance at a few web sites, but didn’t consult the Rolodex or push the issue at all.

Sadly, the world mourned the passing of “Macho Man” Randy Savage on May 20^th. Sports Illustrated published pictures of Savage in his minor league uniform, ESPN interviewed Larry Herndon of the Lakeland Flying Tigers on his time playing alongside Savage, and even Deadspin.com discussed Savage’s minor league exploits.

After learning of the car accident that took his life, I logged on to twitter to express my sadness with millions of other people, from casual fans to full-blown “Macho Maniacs”. Among my tweets about Savage was a casual mention that he was one of my “dream interview subjects”.

Shortly after that tweet, I received a reply from a local Tampa Bay Bucs blogger. He told me that he not only lived by the Macho Man, but even had his cell phone number. He told me that although Savage was quiet in regards to wrestling, he loved talking baseball. He even mentioned that Macho Man talked often about his time playing with Andy Van Slyke, Keith Hernandez, and Vince Coleman.

I was crushed.

I missed out on a golden opportunity. All I had to do was ask every journalistic contact I had, “Looking to interview Macho Man about baseball, anyone have a contact?” and I am sure the Bucs blogger would have come through. Or he would have at least tried to make it happen.

But I never contacted anyone. I never made an effort outside of talking about it.

(As I write this I can imagine the Macho Man saying, “Talk is cheap, yeah. Actions speak louder than words. And words written are words read. Dig it?”)

Needless to say, I learned a very valuable lesson. Never put a great idea on the back burner. I thought I had all the time in the world, but as a friend of mine likes to say, “Time is the most precious commodity”.

You never know when it will run out.

Tonight I found my potential interview list and sadly struck a line through the name “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

(This post originally appeared on Bus Leagues Baseball.com)

Just a quick post to share with you guys some of the Minor League-related work I’ve done recently at some other sites.

Over at MiLB.com, I talked to Pittsburgh Pirates prospect and Bradenton Marauders second baseman Jarek Cunningham about his continued progress from an ACL injury. After missing an entire year in 2009, Cunningham has become one of the most prolific sluggers in the Florida State League.

While in Bradenton, I also had a chance to talk to the Marauders Coordinator of Communications about the recent uber-viral video starring Evan Longoria of the Tampa Rays . The video was filmed at McKechnie Field, the oldest park in the Florida State League.

If you are one of the dozen people who haven’t seen it yet, check it out:

Man, has it really been eight years since I graduated from FSU with my undergraduate degree? Wow, where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday I was throwing huge graduation parties, sleeping all day, gallivanting all night, and enjoying the fact that for nearly a week I had a keg of Yuengling residing in my tub.

Although I didn’t exactly hit the real world until three years later, after two years of grad school sandwiched by six months of unemployment on each side, there is a certain innocence to this, my final article written as an undergraduate student for the FSView and Florida Flambeau.

(Ed. note: I would also write for the paper during that summer and write a companion piece to this article that I’ll post on it’s 8th year anniversary.)

Enjoy.

During my college career at Florida State University, I would estimate I visited about 90 percent of all the popular college bars and clubs in town. Bullwinkle’s, Sloppy Joe’s, Chubby’s, the Irish Pub and the Leon Pub – you name it, I’ve probably been there at least once. Even with all the good times and the large amount of money spent, none of these establishments ever served me a stronger shot than the one I was given at the Leon County Civic Center on May 2nd, 2003.

That night, as I crossed the graduation stage, flipped my tassel and shook President Wetherell’s hand, I was given a “dose of reality.” It is one tough drink to swallow.

True, I knew I wasn’t going to find a job immediately after the semester, but not counting my position here at the FSView & Florida Flambeau, I am now unemployed. Unemployment office, here I come.

Even though it has only been three weeks since I graduated, I feel more and more like Matthew McConaughey’s character in the movie “Dazed and Confused.” You know, the guy who is still hanging around, saying dumb things and acting like he is still in high school. Yeah, that’s me, only on a college level.

Almost overnight, the bars and clubs I used to frequent became “my old college hangouts.” I hope I still resemble a college student in some way, shape or form. I have an eerie fear of being seen as one of those obviously out-of-place older people trying to get their boogie on at Big Daddy’s or Bullwinkle’s. You know who they are.

Like the places I go, most of the people I know have also changed recently. They are all now just “college kids” who don’t know what its like in “the real world.” It’s tough. Trust me. I haven’t got up earlier than 11 a.m. in three weeks.

The next time I hear one of these “college kids” say, “I can’t wait until I graduate.” I am going to quickly grab their cheeks like Adam Sandler did to the chubby third grader in Billy Madison and dole out the same dire warning – “Don’t ever say that.”

There is a lot I am going to miss about college. Studying all night, for example. Nothing beat walking into a classroom after having two hours of sleep the night before, knowing the test I was about to take was 50 percent of my grade.

Now before anyone labels me a procrastinator, keep in mind I was the victim of a vast conspiracy while here at Florida State. Before every semester, my professors, despite being complete strangers from often different departments, would met over coffee and schedule all my tests and papers for the same week. I know it’s true.

Despite my professors’ dubious plans, I managed to graduate with a 3.5 G.P.A. Pretty good, considering my high school G.P.A. was only 2.6. I haven’t met anyone yet with such a large increase. I guess that’s something to be proud of.

But my proudest accomplishment during my time at Florida State University has nothing to do with grades. Thanks to the help and support of many people, including President Wetherell, my idea of erecting a flagpole with an American flag and a POW/MIA flag at the Scott Speicher Tennis Center came to fruition. Although it doesn’t contribute directly to the effort of finding the missing Navy pilot and FSU alum, hopefully this flagpole and the flags it bears will remind people of the plight of Lt. Cmdr. Speicher and the many other service members whose whereabouts are unknown.

Thank you again to all that helped and supported me.

(This post originally appeared on Bus Leagues Baseball.com)

There is rarely a minor league I have attended that did not feature a special group of fans in attendance. Being that I go to most of my games on the weekends, that usually means gaggles of kids from the local little league, a local retiree group, or perhaps even a company function of some sort. But last Friday in Bradenton I saw my first pre-wedding party.

Enjoying the Florida State League game between the Bradenton Marauders and Dunedin Blue Jays was the family and friends of Christine Kennedy and Rich Meier, a couple planning on tying the knot the next day. I caught up with Christine and Rich and asked them a few questions about baseball, their guests, and their upcoming wedding.

Bus Leagues Baseball: So what brought you guys to the ballpark tonight?

Christine: We wanted something that was fun and Florida-ish and different than just a plain old dinner and everybody is here from out of town, so we wanted to give them something fun to do.

BLB: Are you guys from the Bradenton area?

Christine: We are from the Bradenton area and we have a good friend who works with the Marauders and she helped to set this up.

BLB: So whose idea was it?

Christine: It was mine. I’m the big baseball fan.

Rich: I love baseball, but she is the bigger fan, for sure.

Christine: We go to a lot of games.

BLB: You come here often then?

Rich: Yeah, we are regulars.

Christine: Yeah, we do. It’s a fun night out and it’s actually a cheap date.

BLB: You did the dizzy bat race, how did that go?

Christine: It was awesome. I won.

Rich: I was robbed.

Christine: I always wanted to do it, too.

(Here is the video of Christine and Rich doing the dizzy bat race.)

BLB: Do your wedding plans involve baseball at all?

Christine: No, no. It is an actual real wedding. We just thought this would be fun and different for everyone.

BLB: Where did everyone come from?

Rich: We have relatives that came in from Chicago, as far as California, Texas …

Christine: Ohio

Rich: Ohio, Washington DC, Indiana, all over the country.

BLB: And everyone is having a good time tonight?

Christine: Looks like it. Nobody is sleeping. Even my dad made it.

Congratulations to Rich and Christine and thanks to both of them for taking the time to talk to Bus Leagues Baseball.

Yes.

Via olde tyme e-migo Jay Busbee comes this gem of a video. I think this might be the coolest thing I have ever seen. Feast your eyes on “Blackstar Warrior”.

Thanks to highly quotable blogger extraordinaire Clark Brooks, I just learned the end of the world is tomorrow. Which sucks, because I had a lot of stuff to do this weekend. But then again, if we are all going evaporate into thin air in the next 24 hours, I guess it doesn’t matter if I have milk in the refrigerator or not. But it also means I definitely need to rush getting a haircut, especially if I am going in front of St. Peter.

If you think about it, that’s the ultimate job interview. Sure, they are looking at your credentials and all, but appearance counts. Especially if you didn’t die doing something heroic like saving a herd of kids from a burning schoolhouse. Then you have an excuse. But if you die normally, then you better look sharp: teeth brushed, face shaven, and get a haircut. Everyone knows Jesus was the last hippie to go to heaven.

But anyway, a few years ago (seven to be exact), I wrote a piece for the FSU and Florida Flambeau about prophesies and predictions. So being that I don’t have much time left, and that I have more important things to do (like get a haircut), I’m re-posting it here for my final blog post.

Like Ozzy said, see you on the other side.

Preaching the End

Since the dawn of time, humankind has pondered when time will end. Knowing nothing lasts forever, hundreds, if not thousands of philosophers, scientists, religious leaders and everyday laymen have proposed their own ideas on the eventual demise of humanity.

Religion often goes hand-in-hand with apocalyptic forecasts. Just as many beliefs have their own creation story, their teachings usually conclude with a story about humankind’s or even the Earth’s final end. Possibly the most famous of all the end of the world predictions is the Biblical Book of Revelations.

Many organizations travel around the world preaching their interpretation of Revelations to the masses. One such organization, the Sure Word Ministries, recently visited Tallahassee. A flyer describing their 10-night event detailed such sermons as “How Near is Armageddon and the End,” “666 Part 1 and Plagues Upon the Land” and “Revelation’s False Prophet and his Cult Leaders.”

Surprisingly, one of the first “doomsday prophesies” predated the writing of the Bible. According to The Interactive Bible’s online library of date setters of the end of the world, the ancient Thessalonians had heard Christ had returned in 53 A.D. and that “the day of the Lord was near.”

The online library also lists other organizations that have attempted to warn the world of its impending conclusion. The Jehovah’s Witnesses, for example, have issued predictions the world would end in 1874, 1878, 1881, 1910, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975 and 1984. Another organization, the Jack Van Impe Ministries, predicted disaster in 2001, bringing in “international chaos such as we’ve never seen in our history.” They further added that there will be “drought, war, malaria, and hunger afflicting entire populations throughout the [African] continent,” Islam would be larger than Christianity and “a one-world church will emerge, controlled by demonic hosts.”

Sometimes interpretations of the Bible have directly led to conflict. The online library discusses a 16th Century German peasant named Muntzer who, along with a group of followers, thought attacking the German government would cause God to return. Muntzer believed “the Lord promised that He would catch the cannon balls of the enemy on the sleeves of His cloak.” As could be predicted, Muntzer’s rebellion was suppressed when they were “mowed down by cannon fire.”

Even modern conflict has coincided with apocalyptic predictions. In 1991, Nation of Islam Leader Louis Farrakhan called the Gulf War “the War of Armageddon… the final War.”

Visitors from outer space have been cited as the future cause for the end of humankind as well. According to a Web site appropriately named “It’s the end of the world as we know it…again” (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/9941), The Sacerdotal Knights of National Security announced in November 1997 that an alien had been captured. This alien cracked under CIA interrogation and “revealed his species’ nefarious plan to attack with a massive space invasion force, stripping the world of every last of its natural resources and enslaving all humankind.”

Opinions on the types of aliens that are planning to invade vary. California psychic Sheldon Nidle claimed that angels would join the “16 million space ships” arriving on Earth in 1996. In stark contrast, Robert Hallman called the extraterrestrials who were planning to destroy the world in 1998 “Satan’s minions.”

Finally, it must be noted that even the most respected historical figures have tried their hand in doomsday predictions. Sir Isaac Newton, famous for his writings on the Law of Gravity, not only wrote that Christ would return in 1715, but according to recent news reports, he also concluded the apocalypse would occur in 2060. Newton further predicted he would be one of the many saints to rule over the earth after this apocalypse.

(This post originally appeared on Bus Leagues Baseball.com)

With the New York Yankees starting pitching a hodge-podge mess of has-beens, never-weres, and the all-star arm of CC Sabathia, it is no wonder they have dipped deep into their minor league system to help fill the gap between Sabathia starts.

At the end of last season, the Yankees called up right-hander Ivan Nova. Nova has performed respectably with the Bronx Bombers, starting 14 games so far with a 4.59 ERA. Then, as they are prone to do, the Yankees played the free agent game, signing veterans Bartolo Colon, Freddie Garcia, and Mark Prior, each coming off an injury. Although Colon and Garcia have been respectable for the Yanks and Prior has impressed so far in the Minors, the Yankees know none of the trio is a solution to their long-term pitching problem.

That’s why, on May 13th, the Yankees promoted Hector Noesi, their number seven prospect according to Baseball America.

Honestly, I’m not really following the logic of calling up Noesi. Although he had a brilliant campaign in 2010, progressing from Single-A Advanced Tampa all the way to Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, he has yet to blow away the AAA level. After a 1-1 record to end last year, this year he also 1-1, but with an incredibly low Ks per nine rate of only 4.8. He is has also allowed more than a hit an inning. Prior to the season, Baseball America rated him as a 4th or 5th starter at best, and John Sickels says he will probably be a long man out of the bullpen for the Yankees.

Not exactly awe inspiring.

But regardless, I have a soft spot for Noesi. Longtime readers might remember me mentioning his name in one of my first ever posts for Bus Leagues Baseball.

It was Opening Day 2010 in Tampa, and Noesi was on the mound for the Tampa Yankees. He pitched well that night, going six innings and only allowing two hits. Not great, but awfully good.

And while Brian, Chris, and the rest of the gang have interviewed Eric Hosmer, Kyle Drabek, and several other prospects who have made the leap into the big leagues, Noesi is a first for me. As the Florida State League is usually a few years away from the Majors, Noesi is the first player I mentioned here that has made it from the buses to the bigs.

It’s one small step for me, one giant step for Hector Noesi.

A few months ago, I went to the BJ Upton charity bowling event at Splitsville in Tampa. BJ personally invited me allowed fans to attend, so I dressed in my Sunday best, afro and all.

While I was there I was interviewed by local reporter Todd Grasley. I’m at the 2:14 mark.

There is no doubting the utter brilliance of Stephen Hawking. The man is as close to a real life living brain as possible. He has done miraculous work in the field of cosmology and theoretical physics. I consider him the smartest man since Einstein.

(For the Star Wars geeks, Hawking is also basically a human version of the BT-16, the spider thing in Jabba’s palace. According to Wookiepedia (again!), a BT-16 is a robot spider that carries the brain of an enlightened monk. Or in Hawkings case, a super smart astro-physicist.)

Now all that said, Hawking has been ruffling the feathers of the faithful over the last few years with comments that God wasn’t needed to create the universe and his most recent statement that there is no afterlife.

While I am not going to dispute his statements there, I am going to call BS on his reasoning for the latter.

“I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail,” Hawking said. “There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.”

(Quote from Space.com.)

If the brain is truly like a computer, then it must be completely understood as a computer. A computer only runs when hooked up to electricity or a battery. It doesn’t work without a spark. When the computer becomes outdated or the motherboard or chips fail to work, the power in the battery and the electricity in the wall doesn’t vanish. It becomes potential energy back in the battery or on the grid. The energy is still there. “Life” for the computer is still there. There is just no consciousness.

Likewise, when our parts stop working an energy that ran us needs to go somewhere. While our consciousness is gone, the energy should still exist. That’s Newton’s Second Law, or the Law of the Conservation of Energy. The energy that drives Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity should be default also exist in humans. We don’t have a special “non-energy” that propels our existence. The same energy that energy that exists in all atoms and galaxies is the same energy in us.

Using the notion of an all inclusive energy and if you believe that “all is one and one is all”, then the energy that was “us” is no longer contained in us when we die but is now potential again. Hawking should know that all the energy in the universe is spawned from the Big Bang or may possibly slip through to other dimensions and alternate universes, depending on what theories of astro-physics you believe.

With the understanding that energy can not be created nor deleted, Hawkings statements can be seen as somewhat off. Although I agree that we have no consciousness of an “afterlife” with Pearly Gates and saints and a life among the clouds, the energy that was in us will still be there after our life. Whether potential or kinetic, the energy that drives human life will continue to exist, always and forever.

(Yes, that means unless energy is deported to another dimension or universe, the next Big Bang should be just as epic as the one that created our universe.)

You can call that energy God or the Tao or the Great Spirit or whatever you want.

But you can’t deny its existence.