Like so many people across the world, I have been watching the David Petraeus “scandal” with interest. But my interests are of course, different from others. While most wonder “how could that have happened?” in regards to Petraeus’s long-standing marriage and his biographer’s marriage and all the other professional perspectives, I look at as “how did this happen?” as in, how did the four-star general put the moves on his biographer?
According to the most recent reports, Paula Broadwell was a Superwoman. An intelligence officer in the Army Reserves, a West Point grad, an doctoral student, a Harvard grad, a marathon runner, a career advisor, a wife, and a mother of two. And an author of the biography of one of our most famous living four-star generals. All this by the time she was
37 (correction, 42).
I’m 35, I don’t consider myself that much of a slacker, but I haven’t done half the things Paula Broadwell has done. And I am surely not going to catch up to her achievements in the next few years. If I consider myself a wee bit of an overachiever, Paula Broadwell is the definition of an insane overachiever.
But even the most motivated overachievers need a break. They need a moment or two to relax and let their uber-competitive guard down. And that’s when I bet the general made his move.
(Setting: the general’s private quarters, somewhere in Iraq or Afghanistan.)
General Petraeus sees a stressed out Paula Broadwell.
Here, have a glass of wine with me.
It’s been a rough day. I see you are working hard. Why don’t you take your shoes off?
Isn’t that better?
Come here. Let me rub your shoulders.
You are so tense….
(Queue shoulder rub, which leads to the inevitable blah, blah, blah. You get the picture. This isn’t a Fanfic site.)
The deed either went down like that or it went down like Tenacious D in the classic ditty “Double Team”.
Or maybe, just maybe, it went down like Dark Helmet imagined it would: