Feb 19

chp_busLast summer I read an interesting book by screenwriter/actor Brian Spaeth entitled Prelude to a Super Airplane. One of the many plotlines in Spaeth’s book involves a conflict between the “fast emerging pro-flying car contingent” and the “traditional pro-airplane members of the populace”. It is a battle for the future of aerial transportation – whether national production should focus on many private individual units or on a few massive public transports.

After reading Prelude, I started thinking about the transportation situation in Tampa. Like most of America, a large majority of the residents of Tampa prefer private automobile use over public transportation. Buses, although used, remain a secondary alternative, ridden primarily by those without cars or those looking to save money on gas.

I predict this is going to change in the very near future. I think we will soon see a major shift in transportation culture. A shift that will require change in the perception and utility of public transportation.

One of the most consistent news trends of the last few years has been reporting the dangerous relationship between communication devices and driving. Every few weeks it seems another story is written about an accident involving a phoning, texting, or tweeting victim. According to a recent Mashable.com post, “an estimated 6,000 people were killed and 500,000 were injured due to cell-phone related car accidents” in 2008.

There is no doubt people are having trouble pausing their desire to stay social. With the growth of the communication industry and ease of staying in touch, we are seeing a cultural shift from the importance of travel to the need for continuous communication. We value staying in touch more than we do those short moments in which our concentration is needed for driving.

So far, our society’s initial reaction has been to fight this cultural shift. Mashable, a blog dedicated to technology and social media, recommended “a combination of legislation, social awareness, and technological innovation to create a safe marriage between social media and driving“. CNN also recently reported on a product designed to disable cell phones from calling or texting while vehicles are in motion.

Unfortunately, the genie of communication and increased socialization cannot be put back in the bottle. On the contrary, we need to embrace our need to be social.

This is where public transportation must step up. They must take the lead in embracing this cultural shift. Instead of being seen as secondary, they need to rebrand, remarket, and refocus their message and be perceived as a safe alternative for those who want to stay in touch while they travel.

Here are some ideas how public transportation systems can promote themselves to those who are putting increased value on communications:

1) Engage their sense of adventure and participation – One of the major buzzphrases is the last year on the technology front has been “geolocation – the “the identification of the real-world geographic location of an Internet-connected computer, mobile device, website visitor or other“. Public transportation organizations should encourage riders to plug in and announce where they are. These organizations could promote “Tweet ‘N’ Ride” events, incorporate social applications such as Foursquare, or even do virtual treasure hunts or games of “I Spy“.

2) Increase routes through college and young professional residential areas – In order to encourage usage, buses need to be seen in areas where communication-savvy people live. This means putting routes in the residential areas of people 18 to 35. These routes need to stop by places this demographic frequents, such as campuses, downtown areas, malls, entertainment complexes, and sports stadiums.

3) Ensure routes have good signal – Whenever possible, public transportation organizations should make sure there are few, if any deadzones along the routes. They could also make all bus stops Wi-Fi zones. If possible, these organizations should also put Wi-Fi on the buses.

4) Embrace social media – Although many transportation organizations already have twitter and facebook accounts, these organizations need to better utilize these platforms. Not only should the administration be engaging potential riders, but the buses should as well. However possible, each bus should have access to the tweeter feed and “automatically” tweet its location when it reaches stops along its route. This information could be broadcast not only to individuals through twitter, but also possibly to a small screen installed in each stop.

5) Target parents – In order to encourage teens and other members of the millennial generation that buses are a viable option, public transportation organizations should create advertising campaigns targeted to parents and other decision makers. Parents should be informed that they do not have to discourage their teen from communicating, and that options do exist for teens to travel and stay in touch.

In Prelude to a Super Airplane, the great culture battle between individual and mass aerial transportation culminates in 2012. If public transportation organizations can capitalize on the current growing cultural shift between transportation and communication, we may see the battle on land much sooner.

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Jan 22

Auroch fighting WolvesWay back in the day, when I could have had it my way, before I did marches, I worked for the golden arches.

That’s right, my first job was flipping burgers and slinging McMuffins at Mickey D’s. I did that gig during my senior year of high school before I decided to be all I could be.

Outside of the fact that I sometimes got food for free, working at McDonald’s pretty much stunk. Although I didn’t mind coming home smelling like onions and mustard a few times a week, and finally making more than my parents’ allowance was a good thing, my beef (get it? ha ha) was that I was never on a consistent schedule. Depending on the manager, sometimes I worked 25 hours a week, sometimes four. Good thing I didn’t need much cash, because I couldn’t even afford to pay attention.

Even though it has been nearly 15 years since I was in the food business, it might be time to reacquaint myself with some culinary skills. According to an article on the Telegraph.co.uk website, Italian scientists are primed and ready to do some genetic manipulating and bring back an ancient species of cattle called the Auroch that “weighed around 2,200lb and stood 6.5 feet at the shoulder”.

That’s a lot of burgers.

(P.S. Oddly, for whatever reason, the Nazis also tried to bring back the Auroch back in the 1930s.)

(P.P.S. If the farts of regular-sized cows are supposed to be bad for the environment, wouldn’t Auroch farts be worse? Wouldn’t their farts be larger and more powerful? Is the payoff of more plentiful burgers and steaks worth destroying the environment?)

(P.P.P.S. I say yes.)

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Jan 03

Like many artists, writers, and creative geniuses, I have tons of unpublished material filling up binders, boxes, folders, and file cabinets. These vary from ideas to notions to poems to half-written stories. Every once in a while, I’m going to dust one off and publish it here.

This is a piece I sent to select friends and family back in 2002. It is, admittedly, a bit odd, but it laid the groundwork for one of my best pieces to date, a college graduation editorial entitled “The Lonely Condom”. (I’ll let you guess what that was about.)

Dear Sirs,

It is with the most humble of regret that I must inform you of the legal action my attorneys have advised me to take against you.

I have frequented your website (insert site name) daily for the last three years and during this time I have become frequently aroused by its sexual content.  This arousal has lead to a masturbation addiction that has inflicted upon me deep emotional and physical scars.

Emotionally, this addiction has diminished my sex drive so low real intimacy has become an afterthought. Interaction with the opposite sex is a convenience rather than a necessity.  I have become a slave to my own self-pleasure.

Although the emotional damage may be argued, the physical damage is indisputable.  The constant stroking action on my penis by whatever method of masturbation I have used (hand, rag, etc) has caused the skin of the penis shaft to become rubbed off, exposing raw skin.  This condition has caused constant discomfort that cannot be alleviated by over-the-counter creams and ointments.

After seeing a physician, it was recommended that I receive a skin graft, taking a patch of skin from my buttocks and attaching it to the penis. Unfortunately, the surgery is very expensive and will not be covered by any insurance claim. For this reason, my attorneys have advised me to file a suit against you and your website seeking compensatory damages.  You will receive more information from us in the near future.

Thank you.

Jordi Scrubbings

Ok, yeah, that was weird.

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Dec 28

Thoughts about the Time Warner versus Fox battle that could soon leave millions without The Simpsons, American Idol, the Sugar Bowl, and a bunch of other programs:

bright house foxThis might be part of an overall change in distribution philosophy for Fox. Fox continues to try to strong-arm content distributors. Fresh off their dispute with Google, they are trying to hold Time Warner hostage by increasing costs to Brighthouse by an alleged 300 percent.

If Fox was smart, they would pull the plug on Brighthouse’s TV division all together. They would make all of their programming exclusive to sites such as Hulu.com, Youtube, Myspace (which Fox owns) or their individual websites such as FoxNews.com. They could even drive viewers of their shows to each shows’ respective website (GlennBeck.com, Simpsons.com, etc.).

The dilemma is in advertising. So far no one has yet figured out how to make fistfuls of dollars from online advertising. If Fox could drive its advertisers online and get the same income without having to pay the middle man they wouldn’t need Brighthouse. If Fox can pull it off, don’t be surprised to see NBC, CBS, ABC and other cable networks slowly migrating off cable television.

For Time Warner, which recently let AOL go it’s own way, their position is understandable. They have to know paying exorbitant amounts to be the middle man in the media chain is a losing venture. The money from big-money advertisers is moving to online ventures and away from the networks (see Pepsi’s decision to not air a Super Bowl commercial and divert the money to a social media campaign). From Time Warner’s point of view, there is no way they could re-coup value in a mega deal with a media distributor.

However, if Fox fails to get the same advertising dollars, it may make viewers pay for content on its sites. I personally think this won’t work, but Fox could gamble on the loyalty of its viewers and charge for each online viewing of the The Simpsons, 24, American Idol, etc. It may even choose to set up website subscriptions, such as those seen on adult sites. I could definitely see Fox offering $4.95 a month for unlimited online content.

(Side note: charging for Myspace would be the nail in the coffin for the once prosperous social media site. I guarantee having to pay would drive local bands, film makers, and other media creators from Myspace and on to more independent networking sites.)

This is a battle Brighthouse can’t win on the cable front. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if the battle shifted platforms to the Net very, very soon. If Fox were to leave Brighthouse, Time Warner does hold the trump card of Brighthouse’s internet access. Time Warner could block Fox’s websites from their millions of subscribers. This would prevent the average Brighthouse customer from having access to Fox-distributed media on any platform. Fox would definitely lose money as Brighthouse customers would have to decide where their loyalty lay.

I think we could soon see a day where customers choose their cable/internet distributor based on what content they have multi-media deals with. Of course, if unfiltered, completely neutral wi-fi access is eventually free and open as the radio spectrum is now, we would not only avoid this problem, but would see the end of cable television as we know it.

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Dec 18

Today I noticed there are a bunch of different places that you can pay for a service or a capability and a bunch of different ways to pay. I counted three. I don’t know why I never noticed this before. I mean, I noticed, I just never put them together. Here is what I concluded:

First, we have places that you pay for membership and get unlimited usage. A gym membership, for example. I can walk into my neighborhood gym, sign up, and be there all day and use as many machines as I want for as long as I want.

Second, there are pay per use places. These places include laundromats, carnivals, and do-it-yourself car washes. At these places, I must pay upfront for each item I use. And then I can only use it once.

Third, there are capabilities I have to pay for in accordance with the block of time I used them. I can either pay upfront for a set time, such as with prostitution (or so I’ve heard), or pay the time of your usage multiplied by a certain rate, such as at pool halls.

But what if we flipped the script and shuffled what we do, where we do it, and how we pay for it? What if we set a standard method of paying for a service or capability?

Imagine if you had to join a membership to do your laundry. Would you do it? What if it meant you could use whatever washer for as long as you want and as often as you want?

Picture a gym that was free to join, but had token operated equipment. What if for every 20 reps you had to put in another token? What if you had to carry around a bag of tokens in order to do a full workout?

Is there a reason why we have three different methods of paying for utility and services? Is it cultural or strictly economic? Laundromat owners probably don’t want people paying a flat fee for usage as it would wear out their machines, but what about the others?

I don’t know why I think about these things. I think I am bored.

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Nov 17

Greetings,

Welcome to JordiScrubbings.com. I am your host, Jordi Scrubbings, and this is my site.Jordi

Funny how that works, right? It’s my site and it is named after me. I think there is an ego thing going on there, I’m not sure.

On a related note, I once read that people shouldn’t name businesses after themselves or their family because if it fails they will feel like a piece of themselves failed. I guess that doesn’t apply to the web, where more and more people are advocating attaching your name to your site as to build “brand recognition” and all those other cute social media terms. But what if the site fails, and no one reads it? Won’t the author feel unappreciated? Not that I will have that problem, because there is already at least three of you from my old site here reading this right now.

One of the strangest things about having a new site is having to decide how to start. For the last month or so, I have been collecting ideas for posts that I didn’t feel fit on the old site. Now that I am here, do I go all out and release the hounds with a bevy of banter? Or do I slowly trickle my topics to you like a sly seductive sadomasochistic samurai?

By the way, what do you guys think about the new layout? I’m using WordPress now instead of Blogger and I like the functionality, but I think the layout is a little weak. For one, I am not sure if this layout is banner friendly. That was one thing the old site lacked that I want to rectify over here. So if anyone has any banner experience they can share, I am all ears.

(Another thing I can’t figure out is how to align a pic on the right side of the post. I tried eight times to get the above pic to align right before finally giving up. What am I doing wrong?)

That’s all for now. Tune in next time when I discuss other stuff.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I wrote a new post over at the FSU fan site ScalpEm.com on whether selling stock in the Florida State Athletic program would reduce the mystique of the Seminole Booster program. Go check it out.

And another thing, Who Shot Mamba? is out and playing at its appropriately named website. Written by a former NBA blogger, it’s a good old-fashioned, family friendly flick and the first movie to list me in the credits since the mysterious and seldom seen “Flash Vs. The Aliens” (soon, good people, soon).

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May 04

Like clockwork, there never ceases to be people who try to make money on the misfortune of others. However despicable, no matter what the tragedy or how low class, there is always someone concocting a marketing ploy or two to capitalize on the pain and suffering of their common man. For example, who can forget Jenga: World Trade Center Edition (I can’t find the link, but you can see it played here) or the Caylee Anthony doll?

To date, however, I have yet to see anything taking advantage of the Swine Flu pandemic. No sick piggy plush dolls, no “I survived Swine Flu” or “Someone went to Mexico and all I got was Swine Flu” t-shirts, and no celebrity-endorsed breathing masks.

Being that Swine Flu supposedly originated in Mexico, this week’s Cinco De Mayo holiday provides the perfect opportunity to capitalize on the Swine Flu fad. The possibilities are endless especially for the producers of fine Mexican adult beverages have. All the companies would have to do is claim their alcohol cures or makes consumers immune to Swine Flu. Sure, this campaign would be marketing to the uninformed as well as slightly (ok, completely) deceptive, but don’t most good ads get people to believe a product can do the extraordinary? If I wear Wrangler jeans, will I be half the man that Brett Favre is? Doubtful. If I drink Schmitt’s Gay, will I be … wait, nevermind.

Convincing the masses that swine flu can be cured or mitigated by Mexican-produced alcoholic beverages would be a marketing coup. Cases of beer and tequila would fly off the shelves. There would be riots on the streets as people wouldn’t think twice of beating their neighbors for sweet, precious drops of Mexican-made nectar. And if the marketing is done well enough, the incredible fortune made by Mexican spirit makers would easily pay off the public relations backlash that would ensue.

Here in the US, of course, it is be illegal to claim alcoholic products cure diseases (stupid “snake oil” laws). So as a free service to our alcohol-making and drinking brothers south of the border this Cinco De Mayo I came up with a few slogans to use here in America.

This Cinco De Mayo, catch a Mexican import that won’t make you sick. Grab a Corona.

Forget those headaches and those ache-ies, drink a Dos Equis.

Jose Cuervo – The cure for Mexican sickness for over 100 years.

No thanks needed. Enjoy your Cinco De Mayo and avoid the clap Swine Flu.

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Feb 21

The stock market is down nearly 50% since 2007. Hundreds of thousands of people are out of work. Doom and gloom have permeated every crevice of our national psyche.

We need something to pick us up.

We need a symbol.

We need the mouse.

As we all know, Mickey Mouse made his not-so-grand arrival in 1928 in the cartoon Steamboat Willie. Before Mickey’s first birthday, America spiraled in the Great Depression. Disney, the mouse, and the economy have been linked ever since.

In the 1950s and 1960s, growth was abound in America and the Disney Empire was riding the wave to prosperity. People were happy, jobs were plentiful, and the Mickey Mouse Show was a staple. Life in America was good and Disney was one of the most trusted and successful names in the nation.

At the height of this boon, the Disney Corporation opened Disneyland, a place where people could live the fantasy and hang out with Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and the gang. Disney World followed in the 1970s, and other parks were opened throughout the 1980s and 90s. Eventually, the Disney parks would grow to become part and parcel of the American Dream. They would become an American Mecca, a place all families had to make a pilgrimage to at least once.

It’s time to bring those days back. It’s time for Disney to again a play a central role in American culture. Although the media environment is much more competitive, our dire circumstances require that Disney again sit at the top of the multi-media magic kingdom.

The Perpetual Princess Principle

One of the most effective aspects of the Disney Corporation has been their ability to manipulate the minds of young children, especially young girls. Young girls are taught through the Disney Princess model that the finer things in life, the royal lifestyle, are all that matters. They are taught that the days they dress like Cinderella and other princesses, their high school prom and their wedding day, are among the most important days of their lives. Before, between, and after these dates, as the girls develop into women, they are instilled with the ideal that life must still be a princess fantasy. They have to attract Prince Charming, that tall, dark, and handsome mate. They must have a modern-day horse-drawn chariot, that high-end sports car or gigantic SUV. They have to live in a magic castle, a huge home in the most luxurious part of town.

Yet no matter how materialistic or shallow this princess ideal might be, it is essential to the American economy that Disney keep following this business model. As a matter of fact, it should be promoted and endorsed, perhaps with the help of government assistance or of celebrities and debutantes such as Paris Hilton or other notorious “party girls”. With any hope, a new generation of young princesses influenced by Disney will become shallow teenagers and then materialistic women. Hopefully, they will buy, buy, buy. They will shop, charge purchases on credit, and exercise the best in American gluttony.

During a down economy, everyone saves, even the princesses. Reality impedes their dreams and they are forced to live within their means. We have to change this mindset if our economy is to get back on its feet. We need to push the Princess Principle. We need more princess-based movies. We need to advocate the materialistic lifestyle. We need our women to hit the malls, the high-end stores, and the boutiques. We need mass consumption.

We need Disney.

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Nov 20

USBL_LogoExactly one year ago today, I wrote a column on my site informing the masses about the United States Basketball League. The USBL is the only publically-held professional sports league in America. It is the only league that the common fan can own a piece of the action.

Since I last reviewed the USBL, the stock price for a share of the league has fluctuated from 95 cents to 1.57 to its current November 20th price of 51 cents. Although the stock price has drastically dropped, I would still recommend the USBL as a great investment and consider the present an ideal time to buy.

Recently, the powers that be at the USBL have made a concentrated push to attract investors. They have recently both advertised in the Wall Street Journal and moved their headquarters to a more profitable location. These efforts, according to media reports, have been effective, as numerous investors have approached the league.

For those looking to do more than buy a few shares, the USBL has cut its cost for new franchises by 50% in the last year, from $200,000 to $100,000 dollars. Not a bad investment, when you consider most fast food restaurants usually cost between $50,000 and $100,000. And as a USBL franchise owner, you don’t have to worry about trans fat.

So why invest in the USBL? Because it was the original home to basketball legends Manute Bol, Spud Webb, Sun Ming Ming, and current Toronto Raptor Jamario Moon. Because a dozen NBA players have graduated from the USBL. Because fantasy players just aren’t real enough. Because you want an official reason to call a team “we”. Because what else are you going to do with 51 cents?

So check out the United States Basketball League at their home page www.usbl.com, and my previous post on the league, to include four more reasons to invest, at The Serious Tip and buy a part of the league.

(Note: I do not own any shares of the USBL, nor is this a paid endorsement. I just think it is cool to talk about owning a piece of a pro sports league.)

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