And here is a George Clinton jam with Ice Cube (pre-sitcom days):

And another, this time with Q-Tip, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, and Busta Rhymes:

Finally, here is a video mash-up with the music of Big News I by Clutch and a Gorillaz video. Not only do I think this video is good, and good fit to the music, I just bought tickets to see Clutch for the first time since 2004. So there is that.

In the years since Metallica’s latest album, 1997’s “Reload,” the band has fought the evils of Napster, said good-bye to bassist Jason Newsted and survived lead singer James Hetfield’s trip to alcohol rehabilitation. Despite these obstacles, the band vowed to “take it to the next level” on their next album.

Sadly, the only level Metallica’s newest release “St. Anger,” reaches is average at best.

St. Anger falls short of being a quality Metallica album in three key categories: originality, quality production and memorable lyrics or guitar riffs.

While St. Anger is indeed an album made to be played loud, its in-step riffs and repetitive double bass drum call to mind current bands such as Slipknot or Mudvayne. Added to the confusion are frequent time-changes and melodic intervals similar to Korn or System of a Down.

St. Anger also marks the possible “nail in the coffin” of a long-standing heavy metal standard: the guitar solo. Surprisingly, there are no solos on the entire album, a musical first for Metallica. The high-flying guitar mastery of previous albums such as “Kill ‘em All,” “Ride the Lightning” and “Master of Puppets” has been replaced by the same chug-chug-chug guitar riffs of “nu-metal” bands such as Disturbed or Staind.

These bands, along with the many others who have tried in vain to capture Metallica’s sound over the years, now have Metallica sounding like them. The question now is if Metallica no longer solos, who will?

Production on St. Anger is also less than stellar. Producer Bob Rock, who doubled as the band’s bass player, apparently felt the album need to be very bottom-heavy, emphasizing the rhythm section to an almost annoying level. Besides making the guitars sound as if they are an afterthought, Rock’s work on the drums make them sound as if they were recorded by hitting garbage pails in an empty basement.

This poor production gives St. Anger a very raw local-band-like sound, as if Metallica could not afford better.

Deficiencies in overall originality and production could be excused if St. Anger had at least one song that stood above the rest, either musically or lyrically. A classic, per se.

This is not the case. The album sounds long and drawn out. The only possibly memorable guitar riff is in the third song, “Some Kind of Monster,” an eight minute long odyssey that should have been cut in half.

Lyrically, many previous Metallica albums contained songs that told stories, songs such as “One,” “Nothing Else Matters,” “Unforgiven” or “Unforgiven II.” These songs had strong messages many listeners were able to relate to. St. Anger comes up short in this category as well.

Although many of the lyrics of St. Anger deal with Hetfield’s battle with alcoholism, the opening lines of the song “Frantic” – “If I could have my wasted days back/ Would I use them to get back on track?” – could also be directed at the band’s feeble attempt to recapture its past glory.

While St. Anger is not the most disappointing album ever (that distinction is reserved for the first Slash-less Guns’n’Roses album), it is definitely a deity of disappointment. Any more albums like this and Metallica’s reign as heavy metal gods could be over. Sad but true.

• May 21st is the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man and so, in honor of the little yellow guy, here is Mashable.com’s 10 Awesome Video Games You Can Play Online. Not only is there Pac-Man, but also Donkey Kong. Mario Bros, Centipede, and a bunch of other classics.
• AC/DC recently jammed in Bulgaria, and via Global Voices Online, here is a site with 23 YouTube clips of the show.
• Speaking of YouTube and it’s social media kin, the almighty Facebook, before the two sites were banned by Pakistan, several Pakistani bloggers expressed their frustration at the “Everybody Draw Muhammad Day” Facebook fan page. Although none write about the potential for revenge, you can tell they are hurt. The way I see it, just because I can say what I want doesn’t mean I should be deliberately disrespectful. Fear of violence should not be the only thing that limits creative endeavors.
• In other conflicting cultural news from the Islamic world, a Nigerian senator is marrying a 13-year-old girl. This is the same man who married a 15-year-old a few years ago. Unfortunately, he is claiming Islam lets him do this. Sounds like he just like to have wives he can control. I doubt a legal adult woman would put up with his shenanigans.
• On the far less serious tip, media studies professor Henry Jenkins explores the marketing strategy behind He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I never realized the cartoon was there only to try and sell the toys. (Check out the link in Jenkins’ post on the worst He-Man toys. I think I had half of them.)
• Dusting off a few more childhood memories, Deadspin’s “Dead Wrestler of the Week” series is back. This week’s tribute is to the Junkyard Dog, one of my favorites from back in the day.
• In the above post, the Deadspin folks discuss the racial implications of Junkyard Dog, a black man who did what he had to do to get over in southern wrestling organizations. Thirty years later, the Highwaymen, a team that uses the Confederate flag as a part of their gimmick is among the most hated in the Florida wrestling scene. Although Central Florida race relations are less stressed than in other parts of the South, the fact that a Confederate tag team is booed shows times have changed.

On drums, John Bonham:

On bass, Cliff Burton:

On guitar, Dimebag Darrell:

On guitar, Randy Rhodes:

And now, on vocals, Ronnie James Dio:

Admittedly, I took the easy way out and picked both Dimebag and Rhodes and didn’t go with a true rhythm player. I also picked Bonham without a lot of research into deceased drummers. Who would you have in heaven’s metal band?

(Last three sentences may not be true.)

Yes, that is my Obituary shirt.

Oh, by the way, when I wasn’t hanging with Brian Posehn, I was music shopping. When I left I was the proud owner of four new CDs:

• Buckethead & Friends – Enter the Chicken
• Afroman – The Good Times (best known for the smash hit “Because I Got High”)
• GZA/Genius – Legend of the Liquid Sword
• Jimi Hendrix – Axis Bold as Love

Guitarists Rodrigo Y Gabriela are two such performers. Creative Loafing Tampa called them an “acoustic rock duo“, and that’s about as much as you could say without spending hours having to explain them.

On Sunday, March 21, 2010, they were in Tampa and I was there.

The show at the Ritz Ybor started with rock/jazz band the Alex Skolnick Trio. Longtime metal fans might recognize Alex Skolnick as the lead guitarist of Testament. With the Alex Skolnick Trio, Skolnick has infused his metal roots with a jazz flavor, to include a wicked drummer and a stand-up bass. The results are freakin’ awesome. Here is a video of “Western Sabbath Stomp”, which was one of the first songs they did and probably my favorite.

Now back to Rodrigo Y Gabriela. They may be two of the best guitar players I have ever seen. And I have seen Buddy Guy, Slash, Eric Clapton, Robert Randolph, and Metallica. But comparing Rodrigo Y Gabrielo to any of those would be like comparing Randolph to Metallica. You can’t do it. Rodrigo Y Gabriela have created a style of complex, Spanish-themed, Irish-influenced, metal-based rock so unique, it crosses almost every genre and fanbase.

Rodrigo Y Gabriela’s extent was obvious by the crowd as well, as there were guys in Metallica shirts standing next to folks who looked like music majors or even professors. All to see a band whose big number was a tribute to Dimebag Darrell (who I have seen as well).

(Quick note on the crowd: I am not sure if it was sell-out, but by the end of the show the Ritz Ybor was packed. I think the size of the crowd even surprised the performers, who admitted they didn’t know how well they would be received outside of the major city circuit of New York, LA, Chicago, etc.)

Anyway, although I am sure there will be videos of the Rodrigo Y Gabriela Tampa show on YouTube soon, here they are performing Metallica’s “One” in San Francisco in 2008.

If you get a chance to see them, do so. They get the Jordi Seal of Approval.

And so, without further ado, here is the Jordi Scrubbings’ Top Ten Albums of 2009.

By the way, here are numbers 11-20:

• Enter the 37th Chamber – El Michels Affair
• The Devil You Know – Heaven and Hell
• Wu-Tang Meets Indie Culture Vol 2 – Enter the Dubstep
• Everyday Demons – The Answer
• Street Sweeper Social Club
• Blackout 2! – Method Man and Redman
• Let’s Do It Again – Leela James
• Escape 2 Mars – Gift of Gab
• Lipstick on the Mirror – Pop Evil
• Dearest Darlin’ – Jenni Muldaur

The more I do these webcasts, the better I think I’ll get. If you notice, this is the first time I incorporated some special effects. Anyway, thanks for being patient.

Monday was the night of the nocturnal. When those who despise the light run longest. And in honor of these creatures, it is time to make another trip into the Encyclopaedia Metallum – the most comprehensive  online encyclopedia of heavy metal bands on the Web.

During my first journey into the Encyclopaedia back in early 2007, I found such great bands as Carnivorous Vagina, Nembrionic Hammerdeath, Abwhore, Godwaffle, and the amazingly named Grandma’s Vomit. This time, in celebration of the solstice, I will look only in the most black, deepest, darkest corners of the Encyclopaedia Metallum and see what I can find.

I begin my journey with German death/black/grindcore band Lifelong Virginity. I get the feeling these guys were probably going for a religious themed name, but I bet they got picked on a lot with this name. Who would want to be in a band named after the fact that you are not scoring? Could a name be any more groupie repelling? Had they named it something more dominant, such as Penis Hammer, they might have had a better chance with the ladies. But with a name like Lifelong Virginity, no matter how popular they get (or got, as they broke up in 2003), they were doomed to be a reflection of their band.

Next is the Cult of Fey, a melodic death medal band from the hinterland of Germany. For some reason, I was fully expecting the Cult of Fey to be a parody band or a tribute to Tina Fey, but alas they are indeed real. Unfortunately, their myspace page is in German, so I have no idea who they are or what they are all about. But I am confident they don’t care about Tina at all. No 30 Rock for them.

As many can attest, metal musicians love naming their bands after illnesses, maladies, diseases, and feelings of general pain and suffering. Yet the Finnish melodic black metal band Dehydrated takes that idea to an unreachable level. We’ve all been thirsty, and it sucks.

Last, but certainly not least, we have the Finnish Black/Death metal band Dodge of Death. There isn’t much on these guys on Encyclopaedia Metallum and only pieces of their old website are available through the Wayback Machine. From what I can ascertain, they released a demo in 2003 and then vanished. The demo was ok, from the translation I received from this review.

I must admit, the reason I like the name Dodge of Death is because it reminds me of my first car, a beat-up, piece of crap 1987 Dodge Omni.  To be perfectly honest, back in my early years,  I wasn’t the best driver around. People would often joke that I should have kept life insurance forms in my glove compartment. Even though the Omni was a small car, I still jumped curbs, tried to race Camaros, and even attempted to drive through flooded streets after a major hurricane. Had I thought of the name Dodge of Death, it would have been a perfect fit.