In Novemeber 2009, the United Nations hosted the first ever Global Ministerial Conference on Road Safety. Because road safety and traffic accidents are a growing concern throughout the world, “as many as 1500 participants including ministers; representatives of UN agencies, civil society organizations and private companies” met in Russia for the conference. This group sought to stem the worldwide problem of road safety.

(According to some of the UN’s published numbers,

• More than a million people are killed in road accidents in the developing world each year
• Every day a thousand under 25 year-olds are killed in road accidents
• Road accidents are the world’s number one killer of 15 -19 year olds.)

As a result of the Conference’s “Moscow Declaration“, the years 2011 to 2020 have been declared the “Decade of Action for Road Safety”. As a follow-up to the November meeting, the UN General Assembly is scheduled to discuss their initiatives during the road safety decade this March. The initiatives will include a focus on the following danger areas:

• the non-use of seat-belts and child restraints
  
• drinking and driving
  
• the non-use of helmets
  
• excessive speed
  
• the lack of appropriate road infrastructure

Since the UN started looking at road safety nearly five years ago, they have teamed up with several racing organizations and personalities. In 2007, Formula 1 supported the first UN Global Road Safety Week by pushing their racers to contribute to the effort through speeches and photo ops. Drivers Michael Schumaker and Lewis Hamilton also spoke out and individually supported the UN Global Road Safety week initiative.

Also in 2007, the UN named Formula Three driver Basil Shaaban “UN World Youth Ambassador for Road Safety”. With this appointment, Shaaban, a Lebanese driver, took up “an effective social role in spreading awareness about the causes of fatal traffic accidents in the Arab world, most of which is result to over-speeding and recklessness on public roads.” Being that many Middle East nations are on the top of the list of accidents, Shaaban’s role, which he still holds, is especially relevant.

Despite worldwide participation and cooperation, one racing organization is conspicuously absent. A quick Google search reveals no evidence of cooperation between NASCAR and the UN in road safety initiatives. This even though NASCAR broadcasts races in over 150 countries.

Rather than attempting to figure why this hasn’t happened yet, here are two big reasons why working together on road safety would be beneficial for both NASCAR and the UN.

1) Global Reach for NASCAR -Although it’s American expansion is somewhat new compared to other sports, NASCAR has just about permeated the entire US market. Now that theyhave effectively courted the female American market with the arrival of Danica Patrick, the next step, of course, is looking to market and spread internationally. NASCAR would be wise to use the United Nations to promote NASCAR’s legitimacy to international fans. And it would also introduce NASCAR’s best personalities to people unfamiliar with the sport.

2) Exposure to Americans for the UN – A partnering with NASCAR would help improve the UN’s image in America. Although they do a lot of work throughout the world in various fields, the bottom line is that many Americans have a negative opinion of the UN and quite a few even support American withdrawal from the organization. Being seen with Jimmie Johnson, Dale Earnhart, Jr, and other racers could show the NASCAR demographic another side of the UN, possibly swaying opinion from”poor” to “good” or even “meh” – especially if the UN can effectively convey its message of road safety to the American audience.

Pairing NASCAR with the UN during the Decade of Action for Road Safety would not only be good business, it could also help reduce auto fatalities and accidents across the globe. And that would be worth a victory lap.

Admittedly, I am not a NASCAR fan. I figured I would caveat this post by saying you won’t be reading about restrictor plates, drafting, gear ratios or any other technical racing jargon. That said, I do have friends and family who are passionate about the sport. (Note: please refrain from comments on whether NASCAR is a sport or not. For the sake of this post, it is.) I just can’t get into NASCAR. So here are a few things I would do to make NASCAR more enjoyable for me. Here is what I would do If I Ran NASCAR.

Midget Pit Crews – Because everything is funnier when done by groups of little people, I would first mandate at least one driving team feature a pit crew of entirely midgets, dwarves, or any other medical classification of the vertical challenged. Remember how funny it was to watch the oompa-lumpas manage Wonka land? Now imagine a team of little people turning power wrenches, changing tires, and performing other pit duties. Included with this “little person” team is the absolute necessity that they use a trampoline to “hop” the wall separating the track from the crew area.

Weekly Eliminations – NASCAR is perhaps the only major sport in which the worst competitor is allowed to participate in every event from the beginning of the season to the end. The worst pro sports team doesn’t stick around through the championship in any other type of season. Therefore, I propose the gradual elimination of the team with the least amount of points starting after the midway point of the season. After the midway point, if you are last in points, you go home. Simple as that. Not only would this provide weekly drama at the bottom of the standings, it would also open up racing on the proceeding tracks as non-contenders will no longer be cluttering the raceway.

Rename the Award for Best Driver – Despite NASCAR’s best efforts to “flashback” to days of Richard Petty and other legends, the racing community is neglecting a far earlier chapter of its competitive roots.  Not longer. As chancellor of NASCAR, my third decree would be to name the award for best driver the Diocles Award, named after famed Roman Charioteer Gaius Appuleius Diocles.  Diocles, perhaps the greatest charioteer in Roman history, won 1,462 of the 4,257 four-horse races in which he competed. Top that, Richard Petty.

Hire the Micro Machine Man as The Voice of NASCAR – Remember the Micro Machines? Remember their commercials? If so, then you remember John Moschitta, the Voice of the Micro Machines. According to Wikipedia, Moschitta is considered one of the fastest talkers in human history. Who better to represent one of the fastest sports in America?

See Micro Machine commercial here.

Finally, Hybrid cars – Again, another admittance: I am kinda environmentally friendly. Not an ELF member by any means, but I am a strong proponent in saving the environment, recycling and the like. Therefore, decree number four would be a gradual increase in hybrid technology in NASCAR. My own personal estimate is that NASCAR races use a lot of fuel. Then why not employ hybrid technology and electric powered engines in road-like racetracks? I would understand if the technology lacks the power needed to maintain speeds needed in tracks like Daytona, but some of the road courses have far less speeds and could possibly be grounds for hybrid racing. And, as an additional spill-over effect, hybrid cars could receive a bump in prestige. After watching Tony Stewart or Jeff Gordon ride someone in a wall in his bad-ass hybrid, the stereotypical NASCAR fan may not think of hybrids as cars only driven by tree-hugging, commie, city-dwellin’ liberals.

Of course, these wouldn’t be all of my changes to NASCAR. In time, I would adapt and attempt to make NASCAR more and more lucrative. Perhaps even try my hand at expanding NASCAR’s demographic. Think a car sponsored by Snoop Dogg sitting on 24s with rims that don’t spin would do the trick?