I have always had a fascination with being an American-born athlete in a foreign country. Back in 2007, when I was writing for the YAYSports basketball site, I wondered if I had what it takes to play basketball in Iceland. Then, on TheSeriousTip.com in 2008, I wrote about Chris Jefferies, a former Washington University of St. Louis basketball player who was playing ball in Argentina.

Maybe if I made it on a foreign basketball team, I could ball with some of the FSU hoops players I used to watch live when I was in school, guys like Jason Rich and Isaiah Swann, both of whom are playing in Israel, or Nigel “Big Jelly” Dixon, who is hooping it up in South Korea. How cool would be to live the life of professional basketball vagabond Paul Shirley, whose book “Can I Keep My Jersey?” has been recommended to me on numerous occasions (one of these days I will read it, I promise).

(By the way, a post I wrote on Nigel Dixon’s career up to 2007 was one of my more popular early posts. What can I say? The people loved the Big Jelly.)

Not only am I not the world’s best hoopster (hoopist? hoopineer?), but according to a recent report on ESPN’s True Hoop blog, it may be tough to pay the bills while playing international basketball. Apparently, several former NBA players, to include Damon Jones, Robert “Tractor” Traylor, and Travis Best, have openly stated that they haven’t been financially compensated on a regular basis.

This experience has become a fairly common one for NBA players who have been lured to Europe with lucrative contracts. Nenad Krstic and Jannero Pargo were among the players who returned to the NBA last season after not receiving payments from their European clubs.

Since I have bills to pay, basketball might not be the best way to fulfill my international athletic dreams. Not getting paid is not my thing.

What about other sports?

Even though my tryout with the Atlanta Braves back in 2001 didn’t go as planned, I still think I have a shot at being a professional baseball player. According to baseball-links.com, there are leagues in 38 nations. Remember Brandon Fraser in The Scout or Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball? That could be me. I could be the next Tuffy Rhodes.

(Ironic tidbit about Rhodes: although he hit 477 home runs and is an all-time superstar in Japan’s Nippon Professional Baseball league, he is probably best known in the states for hitting only three. On his amazing opening day in 1994, off the Mets’ Dwight Gooden, Rhodes hit three homers, setting a record as the only Major League Baseball player to hit three HRs in his first three at-bats of the season. Unfortunately, he hit only 10 more in his six years in the bigs.)

Of course, if the international baseball thing doesn’t pay out – after all, if stateside teams aren’t exactly opening the coffers for a 32-year old lefty pitcher who couldn’t hit 70mph on the radar gun nine years ago, why should I expect an international team to? – I could try another venture.  As Jack Black showed in the classic cinematic masterpiece Nacho Libre, pro wrestling is quite the phenomenon outside of the US. According to the almighty Wiki, there are dozens of organizations in faraway lands such as Japan, Bolivia, Mexico, Australia, Ireland, Italy, and New Zealand.

Unfortunately, despite my pro wrestling fandom and “involvement” as a self-proclaimed superfan, I have no clue what to do in the ring. As a matter of fact, I have been in the ring a grand total of one time. A few years ago, when my curiosity into professional wrestling was slowly surfacing, I took up an invite to visit a couple of pro wrestlers during a training session. After they were done throwing each other around and exchanging grapples, they invited me into the ring.  Not only did I climb into the ring awkwardly, but everything I did was goofy. Needless to say, I got out before I got hurt.

You know, maybe I should reconsider this international athlete idea. Maybe I need to find something a little less physically demanding.

Do they play skeeball in other countries? I do like skeeball.